Here’s a Ten-Minute Video of My Little Ponies Singing Showtunes. You’re Welcome
February 23, 2010

I’m not saying that a video of two people in life-size My Little Pony costumes performing show tunes isn’t a metaphor for my childhood:

I’m just saying that a medley of selections from Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker and Genesis’s Invisible Touch as performed by Dino Riders and a Barbie doll whilst I prance around the stage on my mom’s old long-handed duster and hum the Wicked Witch of the West’s theme song would be far more on the nose.

And Wagnerian.  At least in terms of freakish absurdity.

Naturally much love to Videogum and Dlisted.  Teamwork makes the dream work.

Snaps to You, the Bravery! Your Music Video Is Totally the Craziest
December 7, 2009

I suppose it’s only natural that, when the song for which you’re making a music video is called “Hatefuck,” one should anticipate a certain level of craziness to follow.  After all, would the music video for such a song really be meeting its artistic potential if it focused on two precious ducklings in a teacup?

Of course not.  While  your music video would be indisputably adorable, you wouldn’t be capturing the darkness and erotic anxieties that a song like “Hatefuck” seeks to convey

If, however, your video looks like an Eraserhead-era Lynchian sexual nightmare in which a woman in a gas mask ties up a guy in a Mexican wrestling mask and then stabs the dude in the crotch, then your incredibly NSFW (or life.  And most certainly my mother.) and totally batshit crazy video is certainly on to  something.  After all, it’s within reason to say that watching this video is like getting hatefucked in the eyes, which is a compliment.  Because this video’s so freakin’ bonkers, y’all:

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Things That Should Not Exist: This “Slut Barbie” YouTube Video
June 22, 2009

I can wrap my head around a lot of things.  Like this Barbie, for example:

black_canary_barbie.jpg

Black Canary is a DC superhero, so a Barbie for nerds makes sense, but I’d rather pretend that this is actually an homage to Marianne Faithfull in The Girl on a Motorcycle.  Whatever works.

I can also understand the below video’s existence insofar as I guess it’s a relatively normal thing to make Barbies have sex.  It’s a rather harmless way of exploring sexual relations and identity in your developmental years.  Puberty, with all its changes and urges and general confusion, is a total bitch; so if making your Barbies have sex is a safe and comfortable way to make sense of your burgeoning sexuality, then by all means go right ahead.

Nevertheless, this isn’t that sort of thing.

This is a full on six-minute narrative, replete with duplicitous behavior, man whoring, and catfights.  The unprecedented levels of batshit insanity surrounding this video’s very existence will blow your mind on multiple occasions, but it’s nevertheless totally worth watching.  “Slut Barbie” is very much real, debatably not safe for work, and absolutely profound.  PREPARE YOURSELF:

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