The Ghost Busters (1954) Trailer Is Quite Simply Perfection
July 30, 2009

It’s pretty safe to say that the children of the 80s can all agree about Ghostbusters:

ghostbusters classic

You really can’t improve upon it.  You can, however, reimagine it as a comedy from the 1950s, which is precisely what this totally brilliant video does.  It combines the pleasures of Classic Hollywood filmmaking with 80s nostalgia, so it pretty much gets all my <3.  Trust me, you need to watch it now:

My only complaint is that this is not an actual trailer for an actual movie because I would watch that movie ad nauseam.  Still, I’ll suffer that small slight for the undescribably joy of seeing Gozer and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, circa ’54.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  At least until we get a a fake trailer for Showgirls of ’33, in which a young Joan Crawford battles with Marlene Dietrich and Barbara Stawyck for stage success and showgirl supremacy.  Make it happen, internet!  

All my love to Movieline for the discovery.

In Honor of Iowa, This Post is Extra Gay
April 4, 2009

So I’m sure that you’ve heard the excellent news by now, but seriously, y’all:

iowa-the-best2

It is always exceptional news to hear when another state recognizes that it is unconstitutional to ban gay marriage, and the fact that it’s Iowa is particularly exceptional.  You don’t really expect such a radical political change to come from the midwest.  You just expect potatoes and corn.  All of us New Yorkers should feel particularly embarrassed today for feeling like we’re such a progressive state.  Apparently it’s Iowa that’s for gay lovers.  New York’s just for smug jackasses.  Whoops!

Anyways, I decided I’d that, in honor of a little piece of history being made, I’d keep it light share a few of my favorite homo things.  First off, we have the inimitable diva, Barbara Stanwyck, in A Walk on the Wild Side.  I could bother to set this up with a little plot exposition, but where’s the fun in that?  Just know that these are the 17 greatest seconds of performance any actress has ever delivered.  EVER:

That, my friends, is not camp.  That is exquisiteness.  I like to imagine that Barbara Stanwyck’s performance is so fabulously intense and perfectly delivered that it physically hurls Capucine onto the couch with the strength of a perfectly placed bitchslap, kinda like a gay version of the Force push.  Did I just reference Star Wars?  I just said something totally gay and totally nerdy.  Two-for-one special on quips, y’all.  You’re welcome.

Equally homoriffic, yet in a completely different medium of pure fabulosity, is the music video for U2’s “Discotheque”:

A friend said these words to me after I came out during freshman year of college: “I always new that you were gay because you even liked 90s U2.”  Truer words have never been spoken.    It’s U2, drenched in a Jacques-Demy-in-neon aesthetics and extolling the virtues of the dance floor.  I’d later realize that this is what we consider high camp; at the time when I first saw this in middle school, I just knew it as awesome.  Besides Lady Gaga, this really is the gayest thing in pop culture.  And it came from four straight men!  Go figs.

But mostly, I think we need this little bit of homoness to honor these changing times:

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I Feel a Diva Rant a Comin’ On…
February 12, 2009

So I’m not really one for useless random lists that rank the best anything in movies (unless it’s by the AFI, in which I then incessantly pick it apart as if it were a personal affront or affirmation), particularly when these list are generated by sloppy research base of unqualified hooligans that probably spend way to much time on the IMDB message boards debating just how hot Megan Fox is in Transformers (rule of thumb, kids: girls that look like diseased strippers are not hot) and who shot first (Han or Greedo?  WHO CARES?).  They also call each other “gay” when their opinions clash, and they tend to have spelling and grammar skills that make most second graders look like Yale graduates.  Point being, these lists don’t deserve to be reported as news because their research pool are constantly poisoned by men in their mid-30s who still live at home with their mothers.  In the basement.  These people are frequently ignorant and all-around awful, so I probably should’ve just ignored this and moved along with my day.   But sometimes I just can’t.

ANYWAYS. I digress.

I saw this little “news” item over on Celebitchy and got school-girl giddy.  Apparently, a poll was conducted to compile a list of the 20 “Most Timeless Beauties.”  Color me intrigued.  And guess who won?

audreywinner

 

She really is the prettiest!  Those cheekbones!  That smile!  Her eyes!  And look at her appropriated image sell the hell out of some Gap skinny jeans:

I could never wear those pants because a) I have my mother’s hips and b) I’m not a girl, but if I didn’t have my mothers hips and an XY chromosome set, I’d totally rock those pants.  And by “rock those pants,” I mean do that dance to AC/DC’s “Back in Black” in the privacy of my own bedroom.  And then maybe post it to Youtube.

Maybe this list can be trusted, right?  (Wrong.)  Let’s see who’s number two!

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So Much Singing and Dancing and Hysteria to Be Had, Yet So Little Time!
February 6, 2009

Ruh-roh. Looks like we’re all going to be verrrry busy in the next month…and not in a Mae West sort of way.  I can’t help but wonder if Paula Deen is letting the cat out of the bag about the doorway that leads into my head, ‘cos Film Forum has really made the program of my dreams.

Honestly, this program is completely nutso in all the right ways.  There’s so much Barbara Stanwyck and Busby Berkeley that I’m already having a conniption fit (or 20).  I really don’t know what I’ll do when I see this nonsense on the big screen:

Or this, for that matter:

Seriously, that “child” is the stuff that dreams are made of.  Oh, and by dreams, I mean my worst nightmares.  I.  Can’t.  Wait.

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