Today’s Fabulous Image in Cinema: Angelina Jolie in Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
August 3, 2010

Estimated budget of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow as according to Box Office Mojo?  $70 million.  Total worldwide box office of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, again, as according to Box Office Mojo?  $57, 958, 696; in other words, just shy of $58 million.  If you’re going to be an accountant about it, I guess that makes Kerry Conran’s loving homage to Classic Hollywood film serials, kitschy sci fi aesthetics, and New York City architecture in the late 1930s (seriously, the scene where Gwyneth Paltrow goes into Radio City Music Hall is an instant Art Decorgasm) something of a box office failure.  Not an outright bomb, for sure, but also not about to get Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow 2: 2 Late for 2morrow greenlit any time soon.  BOOO, 0bviously.  Obviously?  Obviously.

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I Still Think Salt’s Advertising Is Missing the Point of the Movie
April 1, 2010

It makes good business sense to push an Angelina Jolie spy thriller with obligatory scenes of Angelina Jolie being fierce and doing action things and gratuitous scenes of Angelina Jolie having boobs and doing “sexy” things, so I suppose this new trailer for Salt achieved what it set out to do:

I think my problem is that I don’t particularly care about the central mystery of who Evelyn Salt is.  I’m more concerned with why this movie isn’t called Action Wig.  Or The Bangs Supremacy.  All of this double-agent stuff seems so secondary when you look like your hair stylist is an astygmatic drag queen who only shops at the Bargain Basement.

Since We Live in a Busy World, Here’s Changeling in 56 Seconds
November 19, 2009

Admittedly, there are certain differences between Clint Eastwood’s Changeling, starring Angelina Jolie, and the following YouTube video I stumbled upon.  For example, Angelina Jolie didn’t have a long-haired fright wig in the movie.  No no, she sported a fashionable 1930s bob:

Added to that, given that Changeling was a period piece, Angelina Jolie never wore hoodies or Billabong shirts, though sometimes she did wear this hat that I want:

Everything else about this video, however, is spot on:

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Why Is Nobody Talking About the Things We Should All Be Talking About When We Talk About Salt?
November 18, 2009

It never ceases to amaze me what will cause a stir on the interwebs.  I get that it’s a rat race and we’re all just trying to get a piece of the cheese, but when that cheese is a picture of Angelina Jolie’s face that serves as the teaser poster for next summer’s Salt, I really get amazed:

I mean, yay?

Don’t get me wrong.  This poster is perfectly fine, and I’ll no doubt be seeing Salt next summer.  Angelina Jolie has a curious hold on me like that.  I saw Changeling just to see her bring the classic-Hollywood-esque hysterics.  Hell, I even subjected myself to Wanted, which says loads about how appealing I find her as an actress and how I have no self-respect.  Still, as much as I guess there’s a certain newsworthiness in the unveiling of a teaser poster for a movie that many of us will waste $12.50 because the magnetic draw of an Angelina Jolie action movie overrides one’s ability to make good life choices, it seems to me that there are bigger teaser poster fish for us to be frying, namely this one:

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