Damn You Trailer for The Good Guy! Why Must You Exploit My Weaknesses as Well?
January 26, 2010

Well, given that it was just last night that Shmathan and I made plans to make Alexis Bledel’s quarter-life-crisis romcom Post Grad the next installment in Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Ladies of Leisure series, it seems only fitting that I now stumble upon another Alexis Bledel quarter-life-crisis romcom:

And while this poster’s totally fine, I have my doubts about the plot summary from ComingSoon.net:

Ambitious young Manhattanite and urban conservationist Beth (Alexis Bledel) wants it all: a good job, good friends, and a good guy to share the city with. Of course that last one is often the trickiest of all. In the new romantic dramedy, Beth falls hard for Tommy (Scott Porter), a sexy, young Wall Street hot-shot. But just as everything seems to be falling into place, complications arise in the form of Tommy’s sensitive and handsome co-worker Daniel (Bryan Greenberg). Beth soon learns that the game of love in the big city is a lot like Wall Street – high risk, high reward and everybody has an angle.

Look, I’ve nothing against another movie about white peoples’ problems.  Like any other white person, I know what it feels like when Trader Joe’s is out of your favorite flavor of organic yogurt (it feels TERRIBLE); and I’ve heard it’s totally a Sophie’s choice when two handsome, charming, successful guys are pursuing you.  Seriously, other than by the size of their junk, how do you rationally decide?

That said, this a movie about white people with problems who are also making shit tons of money on Wall Street, and I refuse to quell my populist rage against the financial machine just because Alexis Bledel wants to play a love game.  Unless you set those rich white people problems to swoony indie pop, in which case my easily manipulated imaginary ovaries are all over that shit.

Such is The Good Guy trailer, y’all:

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I Guess There Truly Is No Such Thing as a Stupid Question
August 8, 2009

Remember that one time at blog camp when I accepted the fact that I was going to see Post Grad because of its impressive trifecta of attractive male leads, excellent supporting cast members, and an infectious final song at the trailer’s end?  Sure, that song has elsewhere been described as mediocre, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t grab you by your ovaries (real or imaginary) and make you swell up with the sort of emotional angst and swooning romanticism that can only happen when your pop culture diet includes Josh-Schwartz-produced teen soap operas and the entirety of of Mandy Moore’s filmography.  Seriously, it’s the trailer song that just doesn’t quit (at turning you into an teenage girl):

Oh man, is it my heavy flow day for my wide-set vagina?  Nope, it’s just the inimitable sounds of Carolina Liar that have you rooting for Alexis Bledel to figure out her post-grad work situation and get her man.  That’s just how generipop works.

But, before I told you, I bet you too were asking yourself, “Just what the hell is that damn song in the Post Grad trailer?” when you first heard it.  I asked that question months ago and Shmathan quickly provided the answer.  Little did I know I’d apparently asked my first Hard-Hitting Question, a question that hits so hard that plenty of others (likely teenage girls) found themselves Googling the same question.  And so now there’s this:

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The Video For Carolina Liar’s “Show Me What I’m Looking For” Is Terrible, So I Naturally Can’t Stop Watching It
July 25, 2009

File this blathering under Benjamin at his timeliestness, but let’s talk about the video for “Show Me What I’m Looking For”:

Obviously fake guitar playing that services nothing whatsoever?  Check.  Scruffy rocker in desperate need of a haircut definitely and bath quite possibly?  Check and double check.  Unnecessary aerial shots meant to convey the “drama” of the song?  Checkity check check check.  Congratulations!  You’ve graduated from the Academy of Embarassingly Cliched Music Videos.  With honors!

I’m not trying to rag on Carolina Liar or anything, in part because I have that song on my iPod because I enjoy the sound of melodrama, and also because ragging on Carolina Liar is Shmathan’s job, but why is this sort of uninspired garbage being passed off as a music video?

I’m not saying every video needs to be a “Strawberry Swing” to rank, but “Show Me What I’m Looking For” is at least overblown enough as a song to demand something less meh.  I’m disappointed in you, band capable of making me want to see movies starring Alexis Bledel.  Your music video most certainly did not show me what I’m looking for, aka, utter ridiculousness.

If you’re going to milk melodramatic cliches, you gotta know what works.  Next time, let your video tell the story a middle-aged woman whose glamorous youth has long faded.  And be sure perform in a windy rain storm.  In slow motion, natch.  And also be sure to actually include the choir, damnit!

Oh, and one more thing: No more aerial shots.  They remind people of Creed, and that is never acceptable.

Damn You, Post Grad Trailer! Must You Exploit My Weaknesses So?
April 28, 2009

I fully recognize that, over the past few weeks, I’ve taken a rather aggressive dive into what some people may call “insanity,” but I prefer to call it “camp appreciation.”  Whatever.  The point being, while I may get rather excitable when talking about Obsessed and super duper excitable when even alluding to Powder Blue, I can still tell a bad movie when I see one.  Ladies and gents, Post Grad is one such movie:

It’s a Hollywood take the quarter-life crisis!  Lots of laughs (ruh-roh, you’ve been spotted making out by your whole family, and your little brother’s fascinated by the fact that you’ve got boobs; incest: it’s always a riot!), tons of drama (he’s moving to NYC for law school?  mais non!), and many an important life lesson (“What you do with your life is just one half of the equation.  More important is, who you’re with when you’re doing it.”  PROFOUND!) are all packed into Post Grad!  Yikes.

This movie frankly looks about as exciting as a stale rice cake and as original as a stack of photocopies printed on recycled paper; furthermore, it doesn’t help this movie’s cause that it’s staring Alexis Bledel, the actress who has done absolutely nothing for me ever since Gilmore Girls.  The plot looks predictable, and it’ll indubitably end up with Alexis Bledel finding a job in New York City and living with the rather dreamy boyfriend because that’s how living in New York City is.  All of us find jobs in a snap and have dreamy boyfriends.  There, I’ve saved you $12 dollars and made you enviable of the NYC lifestyle all at the same time.  You’re welcome.

All that being said, I still plan on seeing this movie.  Why?  It’s really quite simple:

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