Archive for the ‘Television’ Category

TGIF! Now Here’s a Young Chris Evans in Drag
February 6, 2015

Here is a clip from a circa-2000 sitcom called Opposite Sex, which features a young Chris Evans doing some very bad drag. The outfits are tacky even by late-90s standards, the contour lines appear to nonexistent, and nobody is lipsyncing for their life, let alone 2-for-1 drink tickets during happy hour. Sashay away, Captain America. Sashay away.

That said, the helium balloon t*ts are a nice touch, and there’s no point reading Milo Ventimiglia. He was in Heroes, so he has already had it enough.

[Seriously? OMG! WTF? by way of Dlisted]

Here’s a Saved by the Bell Reunion, Which Is Not a Showgirls Reunion
February 5, 2015

You know, Jimmy Fallon has been trying to make this Saved by the Bell reunion happen since 2009, so I sincerely tip my hat to him for pulling this off. But, like I’ve been saying since 2009, what we really need is a Showgirls reunion, and this Saved by the Bell reunion is definitely not a Showgirls reunion. This is like The Worst Cat of Showgirls reunions. (Actually, Where’s Cristal? Where’s Molly? Where’s Hope/Penny?!?

Whatever. At least there’s a Showgirls reference, which is great. And then there’s Elizabeth Berkley’s reaction to said Showgirls reference, which is better than a ten-inch d*** and you know it:

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Surprise! There’s Going to Be a Brittany Murphy Biopic on Lifetime
August 14, 2014

still-of-brittany-murphy-in-spun-(2002)

Well, well, well, this certainly comes as a surprise. It looks like Brittany Murphy (seen above in a dazzling still from Spun), who tragically passed away in 2009, will be getting the Lifetime biopic treatment. Between this and The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, Lifetime looks to be chasing the nostalgic-millennials-with-a-penchant-for-hot-garbage market hard.

Us Weekly is reporting that Lifetime will air The Brittany Murphy Story on September 6th. Last Man Standing‘s Amanda Fuller will star as Brittany, and Sherilyn Fenn (!!!) will play Britanny’s mom, Sharon Murphy. I’m all for Sherilyn Fenn being cast in anything (Twin Peaks 4EVER), but I’m not sure about Amanda Fuller. She doesn’t really look at all like Brittany Murphy. Then again, Lifetime’s casting agents have done far worse.

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18 Questions Raised by the First Clip from Lifetime’s Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story
August 11, 2014

saved by the bell lifetime movie cast
Last Friday, Lifetime gave us our first taste of their Saved by the Bell behind-the-scenes drama, The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story. If it’s anything like makeshift Mark Paul Gosselaar’s Sun-In’ed and synthetic wig, this movie is going to be extremely cheap and terribly misguided. Seriously, just look at this…thing:

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Today in Poor Life Choices: Mischa Barton Regrets Starring in The O.C.
August 7, 2014

mischa-barton-vapestickIf the above picture is any indication, Mischa Barton recently took a break from perfecting her boho American Horror Story: Coven cosplay and sat down for an interview with Metro to talk about being new FACE of Vapestick. Since that story is probably just as exciting as it doesn’t sound like at all, Metro went with Mischa taking a kitten swipe at her past success instead:

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And Now, Sage Advice from RuPaul
December 9, 2012

I think she doesn’t want us to f*ck it up, y’all, but I’m just spitballing here.

Also, after seeing four gag-worthy seasons of RuPaul’s Drag Race runway eleganza so succinctly cut together, am I the only one that feels like picking a favorite look is like the drag queen Sophie’s choice? For realsies, how do I decide? I love them ALL.

Much love to World of Wonder by way of Vulture for this one.

This Liz & Dick GIF Is Everything
November 28, 2012

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this GIF is worth a thousand, flawless white diamonds. Or, better still, a thousand bottles of the flawlessly scented White Diamonds! ELIZABLOHAN, HOW MANY GIFS DID YOU TAKE?!? (*SPOILER ALERT!*: Just this one.) This GIF is my  absolute everything, y’all. LIZ & DICK “I’m so bored!” GIF back and forth 4EVA!!!

Much love to The TV Screen by way of Videogum for this one.

Let’s All Watch the First Part of The Wil Show’s Big Brother Trilogy!
August 30, 2012

Sure, this first installment of The Wil Show’s Big Brother trilogy might be a little more value added if you’ve been obsessively following this latest season. Joe really does inexplicably yell in the diary room and have terrible, terrible facial hair and make up completely absurd lies. For realsies, he once claimed to have named I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Also: UGH, Danielle. Just UGH! That all said, even if you haven’t been keeping up with this season, we can all appreciate Wil Heuser’s impressive contributions to nightmare drag:

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BREAKING FAT BETTY NEWS! “Fat Betty” Is Simply the Best Song Based on Ram Jam’s “Black Betty”
April 16, 2012

Put on your eatin’ dresses, stop all the music, and be sure to save room for ice cream! “Fat Betty” is the only song we’ll need from here on out. EVER.

Much love to Vulture for this one.

Betty Draper Francis and a Bowl of Sausage Gravy. You’re Welcome.
April 12, 2012

The question isn’t “Who would want a picture of Betty Draper Francis and a bowl of sausage gravy?” No no, the question is “Who wouldn’t?”

In Honor of Betty Draper Francis, Here’s a New Ben & Jerry’s Flavor
April 5, 2012

And it’s called “Bugle Bombshell.” Sadly, though, this best idea food baby is but a tease from Tauntr.com (that name, so apt right now!), because I’m all too certain I’d otherwise throw on my favorite eating dress (the salmon–mmm, salmon–number with the pom poms) and nom nom nom the f*ck out of it. Betty Draper/Francis eating ice cream GIF knows exactly what I’m talking about.

Much love to UPROXX for this one.

In Honor of Revenge’s Most Anticipated Return to TV, Here’s “Sh*t Hamptons Matriarchs Say”
April 4, 2012

When a stripper bludgeons a private dick to death with a tire iron, you know you’re in the presence of prime time soap opera perfection, so I’d say you should be watching Revenge if you aren’t already, but really, why bother? This supercut of Victoria Grayson’s best bon mots of bitchiness and gilded nuggets of Hamptons upper-crust c*ntery speaks for itself:

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30 Seconds of Slapping Begs an Important Question: Why Am I Not Watching Game of Thrones?
April 3, 2012

I haven’t the slightest context for any of this, but who cares? And more importantly: why in the world am I not watching Game of Thrones? Not only is Game of Thrones hard fantasy storytelling with crossover appeal, but it’s got Peter Dinklage bitch slapping the sass from some twink named Joffrey’s mouth. That doesn’t just say I should be watching; it screams it like a slut during last call at the d*ck buffet. Set my interest to STUNNED!

Much love to Buzzfeed for this one.

Betty Draper Also Loves Ice Cream
April 2, 2012

F***ck, and I do so love the way Betty Draper loves her ice cream. Bugles are out! Ice cream sundaes are in! Betty, stop bogarting the sundaes!

Much love to leo & television for this one.

Betty Draper Loves Eating Bugles
April 2, 2012

Goodbye, other Mad Men GIFs. Yes, you’re all amazing in your own special ways, but only one GIF can be my spirit animal, and Betty Draper nom nom nomming on Bugles ’til the end of the interwebs is that GIF.

Much love to Max Silvestri’s tumblr (by way of his Twitter) for this one.

Shangela Sings “Pocket Full of Hawthornes”…for 10 Minutes!
March 30, 2012

I’ve got my body, got my lips, got my pocket full of Hawthornes! P-p-p-pocketful of Hawthrones! ))<>(( Forever 10 minutes. P-p-p-perfection.

Peggy’s Awkard Dancing Is Another Great Mad Men Dancing GIF
March 29, 2012

While not as enchanting as Lane “Belt Buckle o’ Beef” Pryce’s erotically charged Dance of No Veils (sit down, Salome!), Peggy Olson’s variation on the Twist (let’s call it the Hot ‘n Awkard) with her pinko-rag-writing boyfriend Abe Drexler is certainly the most hypnotic Mad Men GIF since Peggy rode that motorcycle. Really, those moves: so socially anxious, and so hot right now! (“Now” being 1966, of course, though I hear vintage is in this season.) Besides, if nothing else, it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who dances like they’re in desperate need of a neck brace. Dance, Peggy, dance! Shake, Abe, shake! And for the love of those fabulous window treatments, DON’T SPILL THAT MARTINI!

Much love to Stories by Michelle by way of Pajiba for this one.

The Lane Pryce Dancing GIF Is the New Best Mad Men GIF Ever!
March 26, 2012

lane pryce dances in the season 5 mad men premiere

There are many a marvelous Mad Men GIF, for sure. Pete Campbell dancing and Peggy on a motorcycle come to mind, as well as homemade favorites like Sally’s sweet potato tantrum from the fourth season premiere and Peggy’s infinite faceplant. Still, Lane Pryce dancing GIF trumps all because it’s Lane Pryce’s reenacting Megan Draper’s “Zou Bisou Bisou” birthday burlesque. You simply can’t top Lane “Steaks ‘r Accessories” Pryce attempting a sensual French Canadian dance of seduction, y’all. PUT A WIG ON IT AND GIVE IT A DRAG ACT!

Much love to Gifulmination for this one.

Greg, the Flamboyant Kid on Curb Your Enthusiasm, Is the Best
September 30, 2011

I recognize that this clip is in fact a couple weeks old, but I only saw these clips from the Curb Your Enthusiasm season final last night, so don’t f*ck with me, fellas! This is only my third day back at the blog rodeo! (Blog lesson #187: When in doubt, reference Mommie Dearest.) Besides, I’ve got no words to convey just how wonderful—and wonderfully realized– a character Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s wildly flamboyant maybe-gay, Greg, is. Only blog love. In the form of all the gold stars:

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A Pair of Stars are Born: The Good Girls Audition for The X Factor
September 29, 2011

the good girls us  x factor 2011

I hate to drop such a blistering glamour bomb without nary a warning, but did anybody else catch these two eyeball bedazzlers on last night’s The X Factor? To the left, we have Sherry, a retired professional singer. (And poetry reader. At coffee shops.) And to the right, we have her daughter, Darwin. (Darwin?!?) Together, they’ve already written a screenplay about Simon Cowell, and they’ve now again joined as the soon-to-be global superstars, the Good Girls. Let’s take a look at their audition in which they perform Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On,” shall we?

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