Archive for the ‘Pictures’ Category

Post #557, in Which Grace Van Cutsem Gives Great Face at the Royal Wedding
April 29, 2011

Grace Van Cutsem is the three-year-old goddaughter of Prince William, a flower girl at the Royal Wedding, and the heir apparent to the face of every person whose internet status currently reads: OVER IT. She’s also Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Best Part of the Royal Wedding, which is sad, because even though I’ll probably never be deeply invested in anything that requires me to wake up at 4 AM (even if it is supposed to be the Biggest Media Event of Our Times!), I was all but certain Victoria Beckham’s hat had that title on lockdown:

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This Guy LOVES Him Some Hockey
April 2, 2011

I’ll admit that I don’t really know much about hockey, save for the fact that it always strikes me as a hilarious excuse to watch grown men on ice skates beat the crap out of each other over a little disc. Is it like some bizarro butch version of Joan Crawford’s The Ice Follies of 1939?

I don’t know.

What I do know, though, is that Joan’s costumes are absolutely glamour-gonzo, a young Jimmy Stewart wants to do things on ice that have never been done before (!), those ice skating numbers look like bargain-basement Busby Berkeley insanity, and why haven’t I seen this movie yet?!? Again, I just don’t know, but what I do know is that this guy LOVES him some hockey:

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Because It’s Monday, Here’s a Dazzling Vintage Glamour Portrait
March 21, 2011

It’s Monday, y’all, and I don’t know what the weather’s like in your neck of the woods, but it’s cold and rainy and definitely not indicative that spring is anywhere near up here in New York City, so I figured if it won’t actually be warm, let’s at least warm the cockles of our hearts:

Obviously this portrait’s doing the trick.

It’s clear this kid understands that it takes more than just a yellow mesh muscle shirt or a pair of spandex pants to get the sort of look that simply screams, “WORK, BITCH!” No no, you’d best be putting them together, and you’ll also need a rat tail that would make Vidal Sassoon and his “five point” haircut weep tears made out of deep conditioner and seething jealousy. Most importantly, though, you really need a pair of ballet flats.

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Oh Look, Here’s Katharine Hepburn on a Skateboard
March 19, 2011

Tony Hawk can suck it, y’all, ‘cos this is everybody’s new Lord of Dogtown (whatever the Catherine Hardwicke reference that means):

Apparently this photo comes from Katharine Hepburn’s autobiography, Me: Stories of My Life, which raises the following important questions:

  1. Why in the world haven’t I read Katharine Hepburn’s autobiography? It’s an autobiography written by Katharine Hepburn. With pictures of Katharine Hepburn. Like this one of Katharine Hepburn riding a skateboard. I sorry, but SOLD. (Katharine Hepburn!)
  2. Also, who wants to give me $40 so I can also get a used audiobook read as by the author? Seriously, few things truly delight me more her clipped, New England diction. It’s like slathering fresh Maine lobster and putting it in my ears. Delicious.
  3. Does this mean I can now start referring to Katharine Hepburn as “noted cinema thespian/extreme skateboarder”? I suspect not, but f*ck it. As far as I’m concerned, of course it does!
  4. Am I going to use the pleasingly surreal sight of Katharine Hepburn on a skateboard as an excuse to what I do believe to be the most indisputably batshit insane picture of Katharine Hepburn ever?

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