Several years back, I read David Bret’s Joan Crawford: Hollywood Martyr, and it was insane. As celebrity bios go, it’s like someone decided to set the record straight about Joan Crawford using Wikipedia synopses of her filmography, a nagging feeling that says “CHRISTINA’S WRONG”, a whole lotta moxie, and a well-read copy of Kenneth Anger’s Hollywood Babylon. Really, I’m still not sure what the rumor about Ramon Novarro and the black marble dildo from his alleged lover Rudolph Valentino was doing in a biography about Joan Crawford, but it did keep things more interesting.
My point is I’m more than familiar with trashy and ridiculous rumors about Joan Crawford and early Hollywood’s general sordidness, but nothing, and I mean nothing, could prepare me for “Joan Crawford Gender. Gender Enigma. Part 1.”, which is basically a Truther video, if the Truther movement was obsessed with proving that Joan Crawford was a man and Hollywood is some sort of Satanic transsexual long con:
Look, I don’t mean to mock mental illness dressed as devout Christianity, which I’m pretty certain this video is, but what this is is also amazing. Joan Crawford is the harbinger of “Hellywood”‘s “Gender Dystopia”? Ahahaha, YAS QUEEN!
And it’s not just Joan Crawford who is out to destroy your precious gender binary. If you take a quick look over this woman’s YouTube page, you realize that everybody is in on it, it being some sort of transexual armageddon. Sandra Bullock? “Tranny.” Sarah Palin? “Next Gen TRANNY!!” Rudolph Giuliani and Donald Trump? “They R ALL TRANNIES now.”
I’ll admit that ever since a certain someone came around, this kind of rhetoric doesn’t seem quite as silly and harmless as it once did, so I probably shouldn’t be poking at the wasp’s nest, but this lady is so convinced that everyone is a Satanic transexual that I think we can claim safety in numbers.
And should I get branded a “tranny,” too, then that’ll be the day I finally have something in common with Donald Trump and Sarah Palin, which is some kind of apocalypse indeed.