TGIF! Now Here’s the Current State of the U.S. Political Conversation

In case you missed it (and you know missed it), Donald Trump took a moment out of last night’s Republican Debate on Fox News to talk about his penis, which he guarantees “there’s no problem.” This all came about, mind you, after Marco Rubio apparently made a comment about Donald Trump having small hands, which he inferred meant other things were small, too. I see you, Rubio, you shady queen. The crowd ate it up like it was an all-you-can-eat sausage buffet, which I guess makes the Republican constituency a Samantha. Dickalicious, indeed.

Since I only understand things in terms of Showgirls references, I did a Google search for the line “She looks better than a ten inch dick and you know it.” I’d have settled for a GIF of Henrietta Bazoom to drop into this post, but instead I found the safe-for-work image results of a whole lotta not-Showgirls and lo-and-behold I sh*t you not our two new friends:

she looks better than a ten inch dick and you know it google search donald trump marco rubio


she looks better than a ten inch dick and you know it google search trump rubio pink enhance

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, GREAT!

I know I should be horrified, and I will be in November when I have to bust out my brokedown Liza drag for Trump’s Weiner Weimar Repbulic, but right now I can’t help but be grotesquely charmed that this is where the United States political conversation wallows. Donald Trump is insisting to the American public that he’s party sized and ready to play, and meanwhile Marco Rubio is showing his true colors as both a size-queen and a power bottom. Really, America, why talk about the issues when you can pick your presidential candidate like you pick a trick on Grindr?

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