This Week In: Accomplishments

notes on a scandal gold star

You might not know this about me, but Judi Dench in Notes on a Scandal and I are basically the same person. For one thing, we are both aging spinsters with huge lesbian crushes on Cate Blanchett. More notably, though, we both like giving gold stars to life’s accomplishments, and those accomplishments could be anything.

For example, this could’ve been the week you got $500 off a lap dance and bought yourself that dress you’ve always wanted from Versayce, which is in The Forum. Maybe you remembered to floss each night, or moisturize, or perhaps it had to be enough to just show up to work each day and not “accidentally” run your hand through Cate Blanchett’s hair again.

My point is that I don’t know your life, and you don’t know mine, but I do know that this week my accomplishments include being discovered through this sophisticated gem of a search engine term:

search term dick gif

*sigh* My work here is done.

I’m pretty certain this means that someone somewhere decided that this GIF of a bored Lindsay Lohan in discount Elizabeth Taylor drag stood out in an endless sea of thirsty Tumblr pages and porno blogs as the thing they most wanted to masturbate to, and quite honestly, I find that touching.

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