18 Questions Raised by the First Clip from Lifetime’s Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story

saved by the bell lifetime movie cast
Last Friday, Lifetime gave us our first taste of their Saved by the Bell behind-the-scenes drama, The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story. If it’s anything like makeshift Mark Paul Gosselaar’s Sun-In’ed and synthetic wig, this movie is going to be extremely cheap and terribly misguided. Seriously, just look at this…thing:

Yikes? Yiiikes. But also: YESSS. This looks pretty terriblamazing, particularly if Saved by the Bell figured into your formative years, so this is pretty much must-see. But this clip also raises some pressing questions, such as:

  1. Why is everybody so small? I get they’re teenagers, but I’m not sure fake Mark Paul Gosselaar is even 5’6″, and that’s including his beautiful, bouffant wig monster.
  2. Do you think this will actually be any good, or at least bad-good, or are we all going to just be bored, so bored?
  3. If Tiffani Amber Thiessen is the Regina George of the group, and Lark Voorhies is Gretchen Weiners, does that make Mark Paul Gosselaar hoop earrings?
  4. Her Better-Homes-&-Gardens-wallpaper-swatches blazer is deeply regrettable, but isn’t Elizabeth Berkley just the best? saved by the bell lifetime movie kelly jessie lisaLook at her, just bringing the other girls together. She’s basically the bitch whisperer of Bayside High.
  5. Ooh, do you think they’ll recreate her iconic caffeine pill meltdown?
  6. Ugh, what kind of monster does push-ups…for fun?
  7. Also, is it just me, or is the Mario Lopez/Dustin Diamond push-up battle feel like somebody snuck some super-butch, alpha-male conflict into an episode of Muppet Babies?
  8. Wait a tick. They can say “prick” on Lifetime?
  9. What’s One Million Moms going to say about that?
  10. I know it came after Saved by the Bell was cancelled, but can they at least make a reference to Showgirls?
  11. Pleeease?
  12. Pretty, pretty pleeeeease?
  13. With a burrito on top?
  14. Or even some fajitas?
  15. Hell, can Lifetime just make  She’s a Dancer!: The Unauthorized Showgirls Story instead?
  16. I mean, we can all agree Showgirls always trumps Saved by the Bell, right?
  17. No, that’s just me?
  18. Well, boo.
Sure, that last one isn’t a question, but whatever. So many questions, and hopefully at least a few answers. The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story airs September 1st. I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so…well, you know.
[via Vulture]

One Response

  1. I want She’s A Dancer! Please! Showgirls always trumps Saved by the Bell.


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