As I’ve spent a considerable and sufficient amount of time away from properly and consistently tending to this little corner of the internet, and as said considerable and sufficient absence has made me realize has made me realize I must recommit to said little corner of the internet, the following changes shall be enacted in Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s bold new era of blogging recommitment:
- Henceforth, a portion of Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s blog posts shall be devoted to my new vegan lifestyle. What was I ever thinking when I made that donut bacon cheeseburger? I can no longer in good conscience contribute to the consumption of meats and animal-based products, particularly veal, which is as cruel and inhumane as it was once totally delicious. I imagine this adorable baby lamb approves.
- Henceforth, a portion of Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s blog posts shall be devoted to my continued lifestyle deprogramming as a reformed homosexual. Camp is no longer queen at this corner of the internet, because camp is for homosexuals, and I am not of their ilk. My favorite actress is anybody but Joan Crawford. This will never happen again. Showgirls is a terrible film barely redeemed by all those exposed breasts that I appreciate so much. Sexually. My favorite color is flannel. I owe it all to my prayer circle.
- Henceforth, a portion of Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s blog posts shall be devoted to my appreciation of very normal and qualitatively good things. If it’s batshit crazy or a train wreck, please don’t tell me about it. It will only upset me.
Thank you. That is all.