Take the poster for Black Swan for example. This poster alone is enough to send me into a hundred fits of gay vapors (or “gaypors,” if you’re in the know). Just look at this piping hot plate of Natalie Portman FACE:
OOH, IT BURNS! Seriously, though, this poster’s phenomenal. It’s gorgeous with a subtle air of creepy, and all of it demands that I get my ass to the theater as soon as possible to see this movie, which is sorta like how I feel whenever I watch the trailer. Except for the part where the trailer makes my head explode. If you’ve seen the trailer, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, change that poor life choice of yours IMMEDIATELY. Either way, let’s all give it a spin and discuss:
Well, first things first:
Don’t act surprised or get offended. You knew that was coming. Moving right along.
What I find most exciting about Black Swan isn’t the fact that it looks like Darren Arronofsky’s crafted a legitimately good psycho-sexual thriller (though let’s be clear that it looks like he certainly has). No no, what I find most exciting about Black Swan is that it looks like Darren Aronofsky’s crafted a legitimately good psycho-sexual thriller featuring everything I could possibly want from a movie. Am I being incepted? Probably not, but neither am I kidding when I say Black Swan looks like it’s born from this blog.
Prima ballerina psychological drama à la Powell and Pressburger’s The Red Shoes?
Check and double check.
Finally affording me the opportunity to have to choose which scary ballet movie I’m in the mood for instead of always being in the mood to watch Suspiria?
Something to make me go SQUEE!, aka, Natalie Portman at the Lincoln Center in a pink coat?
SQUEE! I mean, check.
Something to hopefully generate web traffic via Google image search, aka, Natalie Portman making out with Mila Kunis?
Something for our nightmares?
I don’t know what the fuck that thing is, but most definitely check.
Total batshit insanity?
You get my point.
Now seeing as I lack the basic human fortitude most people call patience, December 1st (when Black Swan‘s set for limited release) seems so very far away, but whatever. I can already tell I’m going to love Black Swan, so what feels like an eternity is going to be totally worth it, y’all.