Archive for July, 2010

Here’s Christine Pedi Doing Liza Minnelli and Carol Channing Doing Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”
July 9, 2010

Naturally, it’s fabulous, so of course you should watch it:

I must admit, however, that as I was watching this shimmering, rainbow-scaled ouroboros of unmitigated homosexuality, a series of thoughts did my mind:

  1. This is indubitably one the gayest things I’ve ever seen, but debatably THE gayest thing, so He-Man can take his fabulous secret powers and sit back down.  For now.
  2. The Snickers bar, as we all know, is an excellent touch.
  3. Also, now I’m in the mood for a Snickers.
  4. And a martini.
  5. Oh, and while we’re at it, raspberries as well.
  6. Come to think of it, I should probably hit up the grocery store after work.  Oops, digression!
  7. Anybody in the mood for a round of Movie Critic?
  8. I wonder if the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck’s ice cream come in d*ck flavor, and if so, what would that taste like?  Sausage and Old Spice, perhaps?
  9. But most importantly:

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Today’s Fabulous Image in Cinema: Penélope Cruz in Vanilla Sky
July 9, 2010

Any explanation as to what makes Penélope Cruz–with her glance that could dismantle bombs by way of unadulterated whimsy  and a fetching, vintage herringbone coat that incites almost as much jealousy as the knowledge that she’s dating Javier Bardem–so irresistibly charming in the above image from Cameron Crowe’s curious (and curiously wonderful) Vanilla Sky would imply that Penélope Cruz–with said adorable glance and coveted coat–is in fact not irresistibly charming in the above image.  That, dear reader, would be simply unacceptable.

And as usual, don’t hesitate to click to enlarge and appreciate the fabulousness of it all.

Here’s a Video of a Sixty-Year-Old Man Getting His Freak on to Beyonce’s “Diva”
July 8, 2010

Meet Rick.  Rick hails from Arizona, and he has visited the adults-only resort Hedonism II some forty times for the “wild women” and the “rippin’ and the tearin'” (whatever that means, though on second thought, don’t tell me).  Ladies and gentleman, Rick would like to do a dance of seduction for you, a dance so undeniably erotic that once it is witnessed, it can never be unseen:

Two words: dance off.  One reaction:

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The Music Video for Brandon Flowers’s “Crossfire” Has Got EVERYTHING
July 8, 2010

I’m not kidding, either.  The video for “Crossfire,” the first single off Brandon Flower’s forthcoming solo album Flamingo, has got action:

And ninjas!

It’s got Brandon Flowers as a man-damsel in distress:

Scruffy man-damsel deliciousness!

But most importantly, it’s got Charlize Theron (whaaa!?!):

And–f*ck yeah!–more ninjas!  Seriously, ladies and gentlemen, what more could ask for?  That’s right: NOTHING.  So sit back and enjoy “Crossfire,” y’all:

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Today’s Fabulous Image in Cinema: Gene Tierney in Leave Her to Heaven
July 8, 2010

I’m well aware that Alfred Newman’s booming score ads a certain melodramatic je ne sais quoi that a single frame can’t do justice; nevertheless, there’s something to be said for the unsettlingly austere gaze with which Gene Tierney’s Ellen Berent spreads her father’s ashes (back and forth, back and forth!) on horseback  in John M. Stahl 1945 adaptation of Ben Ames Williams’s Leave Her to Heaven.  That, and those lips.  Seriously, either I’ve got an asexual fetish for crazy ladies in red lipstick, or dazzlingly red lips are Technicolor color coding for “psycho bitch.”  Either way, I love it.

And as usual, don’t hesitate to click to enlarge and appreciate the fabulousness of it all.

Reuters Gives Great Head(lines)
July 7, 2010

Excellent work, Reuters.  You’re a legitimate and respectable news source, and this is your headline:

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A New Season of Mad Men Means a New Mad Men Yourself You!
July 7, 2010

So in case you’ve been under some sad, sad rock where the gentle glow of quality television program does not shine, Mad Men‘s fourth season fast approaches, by which I mean why the f*ck isn’t it July 25th already?  Seriously.

Anyways, should your sad, sad rock happened to be buried under a boulder where the interwebs dare not tread, you might not have heard about how AMC has a Mad Men avatar generator over at MadMenYourself.com as part of their online marketing campaign.  Well, they do, and it’s brilliant, and now Mad Men Yourself has been updated in anticipation of the fourth season, so you know what that means: it’s time to Mad Men Yourself all over again!  Everybody’s doing it, and by everybody, I mean me:

mad men avatar generator season 4

See, last season’s Mad Men Yourself me was all about sartorial simplicity (cardigans and ties) and shameless alcoholism (martinis…EVERYWHERE), but a new season of Mad Men demands a new Mad Men me (and you!), so I decided The Look for season 4 is all about “business pizazz!” (plaid jackets and briefcases) and “slightly more conspicuous alcoholic” (oh, Bloody Mary, the drink that’s never too early to drink and can always just be “tomato juice, but fancy” to your coworkers).  My Look also says “Someone’s taken their love of Joan Holloway’s accordion playing one step too far,” but this isn’t a rip-off of a tagline for post-modern slasher, so let’s go see what sort of zany moments from Season Three your Mad Men Yourself you can get yourself into:

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Today’s Fabulous Image in Cinema: Moira Shearer in The Red Shoes Is Your FACE
July 7, 2010

In Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger’s 1948 Technicolor masterpiece The Red Shoes, Moira Shearer plays talented ballet protégé Victoria Page, a woman torn between the composer she loves (Marius Craster) and the (possibly gay–it’s a diva worship thing) impressario who has shone a light on her talent and brought it to fruition and fame (Anton Walbrook).  *SPOILER ALERT*: Things do not end well, as they are so wont to do in melodramas.

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Here’s a Video of the 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time
July 1, 2010

When a video is titled “The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time” and begins with this warning:

You’d best believe this video isn’t going to mess around.  But when it actually includes some of the greatest movie insults of all time, including a Joan Crawford ZING! from The Women and a priceless exchange from Mean Girls (you go, Glenn Coco Tina Fey!), well, it’s just worth it.  “The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time,” y’all:

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Jersey Shore Deep Thoughts: On Enrique Iglesias’s “I Like It”
July 1, 2010

Last night, faithful reader and fellow pop culture blogger Alex brought this video to my attention, so you can thank/blame him for this one.  Here’s the music video for Enrique Iglesias’s “I Like It” featuring Pitbull.  Oh, and the cast of Jersey Shore:

First off: HUH?!?

Is Enrique Iglesias still cool kid music?  Did “Sad Eyes” make him hip again?  (Please let it be “Sad Eyes” that made him hip again because that video is AWESOME.)  Also, is a love of Enrique Iglesias some sort of secret, previously unspoken part of the guido subculture that Jersey Shore‘s second season will explore with the same nuance and cultural sensitivity that it brought to sausage and peppers and fist pumping and pickle sucking, or is this a we-set-this-one-in-Miami thing?

Where the hell is Sourpuss during this mess?

enrique iglesias i like it jersey shore version

Oh, I’m sorry, I meant Angelina.  Did she pack up her trash bags and head back home again?

Do you know who loves fist pumping?  Guidos.  Do you know who loves fist pumping AND doing their best moves from The Matrix on people’s couches?  Enrique Iglesias.

But perhaps most importantly:

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Today’s Fabulous Image in Cinema: Joan Crawford in Humoresque (Yes, Again.)
July 1, 2010

humoresque joan crawford tragedy

Because you can’t appreciate the Humoresque sweet without having to taste Humoresque sour, and because I can never get enough Joan Crawford (particularly until I’ve finished reading David Bret’s epically salacious Joan Crawford: Hollywood Martyr) here’s Joan Crawford’s Helen Wright shedding a single tear of profoundly agonized longing for her violinist lover, Paul Boray (John Garfield).  He’s playing the Liebestod from Richard Wagner’s Tristan und Isolde, she’s drowning her sorrows as she listens to him on the radio, and my head’s exploding from having a moment appeal to the Crawford queen AND the opera queen in me.

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