This past weekend, I may or may not have finally sat down and watched Twilight for the time (don’t judge me), and I may more or may not have really enjoyed myself (like I said, don’t judge me). Regardless of what did or did not happen this past weekend, though, there is definitely a dolphin statue at the end of Twilight, which of course can only mean one thing: super-secret Showgirls reference! While it remains unclear as to who would be responsible for this homage to the Greatest Movie Ever Made (a cheeky set designer’s assistant? Catherine Hardwicke? STEPHANIE MEYER?!?), that doesn’t mean we can’t discuss the Dolphin Statue as if it’s a thing that it’s most probably not. Besides, my money’s on the Mormon (then again, when is it not?), so let’s talk this one through, shall we?
Sure, Twilight‘s prom scene is obviously lacking in certain departments (Kristen Stewart having a “sexy” full-body Tourrettes attack in a swimming pool, Robert Pattinson’s hairstyle being strangely reminiscent of a mid-90s lesbian, palm trees adorned with neon lights) that would make the prom scene an out-and-out reimagining of the bristlingly erotic Showgirls pool scene, but we can’t all be winners, which is to say we can’t all be Showgirls. Added to that, anybody who’s seen Showgirls can attest to the fact that the sex scenes in that movie are utterly ridiculous; and from what I’ve heard, anybody who’s read Breaking Dawn can attest to fact that the sex scene in that book are also ridiculous, but not nearly as ridiculous as the part where Bella is pregnant her vampire baby, which is pretty much sounds like the Most Ridiculous Thing of All Time, Ever. My point, faithful readers and Twihards with Google alerts, is that the Dolphin Statue isn’t mere coincidence. No no, the Dolphin Statue is clearly Intertextual Foreshadowing to Bella and Edward bumping uglies in a freak-nasty way (CLEARLY), and you can take that to the First Bank of Indisputable PhD Dissertations, y’all.
Oh, and as usual, don’t hesitate to click to enlarge and appreciate the fabulousness of it all.