The Robot Apocalypse Will Be Bristol Palin on The Secret Life of the American Teenager

Pandemonium has struck!

ANYWAYS, the last time we checked in on ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teen, dear reader and occasional contributor Shmathan brought to our attention the latest scientific findings in the dangers of incredible sex.  Since then, however, Shmathan has left left for the far more lucrative world of corporate law.  It is sad, yes, but blog life must go on.  My point is that sometimes in life, things change.  But you know what hasn’t changed?  The fact that The Secret Life of the American continues to look really terrible.  See, for example, Bristol Palin’s ACTING debut:

Yo-Yo Ma?  WHOOOOAH.  Shut it down, ABC Family, because I will never that hip to get your jokes!

On second thought, though, don’t shut it down just yet.  After all, I always wanted there to be a sequel to the Stepford Wives remake that was about single-mother robots that are as convincingly human as Nicole Kidman’s forehead.

Much love to Vulture for this one.

2 Responses

  1. I almost want a t-shirt that reads “WE ARE ALL TEEN MOMS” with a potato-stamp-style print of Bristol Palin’s head on it. Think the graphic design of “God Save the Queen” from the Sex Pistols. Then again, maybe not.


    • Almost? I’m dead certain that I want that. This shirt needs to happen.


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