Lee DeWyze’s “Beautiful Day” Must Be Stopped

It has come to my attention that if Lee DeWyze wins this season’s American Idol, his first single will be his rendition of U2’s “Beautiful Day.”  That is unacceptable, because his version is just like the leather hoodie he’s wearing during this performance (AWFUL):

Blech.

Sure, I recognize that many of you out there are like, “But Benjamin, what version of ‘Beautiful Day’ doesn’t suck?” and that’s fine.  Seeing as I’m too-U2-fanboy-to-function (as has been repeatedly evidenced here), I’m inclined to disagree, but disagreeing is one of those things upon which we can all agree.  And you know what else we can agree on?  Lee DeWyze’s version is a total bore.

Seriously, the vocals are capable yet dispassionate.  The arrangement is blandly anthemic at best.  It’s too dull to be a train wreck, and too inoffensive to be a legitimately bad idea.  I’d say this makes it perfect for the undiscriminating tastes of soccer moms and kids who think U2 constitutes “classic rock” (Fuck you for that one, Glee), but this would imply that anybody should want to pay for such uninspired dreck.

As far as I’m concerned, this cover is basically like in the series finale of Lost when *SPOILER ALERT!* the Smoke Monster wanted to get off the Island and Jacob was all cryptic and “That would be the end of everything!”:

The only difference is that this time there’s palpable dramatic tension, because we know what the stakes are, and the stakes are boredom comas.

Advertisements

6 Responses

  1. Despite his barely mediocre performances last night, the internet suggests he did indeed win (well, dialidol claims he won). Obviously, this is a victory for all those tweens who speed text their votes but forget their idols quickly and never buy music. It’s also another nail in Idol’s coffin–I guess Crystal had her victory last night and will reap her rewards when she actually has a career. He’s beyond bland and forgettable.

    Like

  2. “I’d say this makes it perfect for the undiscriminating tastes of soccer moms and kids who think U2 constitutes “classic rock” (Fuck you for that one, Glee)”

    Yay! I’m not alone on this!

    Love your blog, btw 🙂

    Like

  3. […] You may think this is some middle-aged woman throwing a histrionic shit fit over a past-its-prime and ultimately inconsequential competitive singing reality show, but you’re wrong.  This woman knows exactly what I’m talking about. […]

    Like

  4. “I’d say this makes it perfect for the undiscriminating tastes of soccer moms and kids who think U2 constitutes “classic rock” (Fuck you for that one, Glee)”
    –> way below the line. U2’s music is good and Ken Bono is rock!

    Like

  5. LOVE IT. Although, I’m feeling a little hurt that I didn’t get a shoutout for alerting you to this abomination :).

    Like

  6. […] words, Muse covering “Where the Streets Have No Name” is not a life-ruining monstrosity that must be stopped, but you would expect as much seeing as how the Edge joined them on stage at the Glastonbury […]

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: