It has come to my attention that if Lee DeWyze wins this season’s American Idol, his first single will be his rendition of U2’s “Beautiful Day.” That is unacceptable, because his version is just like the leather hoodie he’s wearing during this performance (AWFUL):
Sure, I recognize that many of you out there are like, “But Benjamin, what version of ‘Beautiful Day’ doesn’t suck?” and that’s fine. Seeing as I’m too-U2-fanboy-to-function (as has been repeatedly evidenced here), I’m inclined to disagree, but disagreeing is one of those things upon which we can all agree. And you know what else we can agree on? Lee DeWyze’s version is a total bore.
Seriously, the vocals are capable yet dispassionate. The arrangement is blandly anthemic at best. It’s too dull to be a train wreck, and too inoffensive to be a legitimately bad idea. I’d say this makes it perfect for the undiscriminating tastes of soccer moms and kids who think U2 constitutes “classic rock” (Fuck you for that one, Glee), but this would imply that anybody should want to pay for such uninspired dreck.
As far as I’m concerned, this cover is basically like in the series finale of Lost when *SPOILER ALERT!* the Smoke Monster wanted to get off the Island and Jacob was all cryptic and “That would be the end of everything!”:
The only difference is that this time there’s palpable dramatic tension, because we know what the stakes are, and the stakes are boredom comas.