Happy Star Wars Day! Now Let’s All Watch This Epic Review of Attack of the Clones

True story, y’all: in my youth, I spent about as much time in my parents’ bedroom watching the classic Star Wars trilogy as I did prancing about pretending I was the star ballet dancer (affectionately nicknamed “Spotlight Spotlight Dancer”) in a production of Tchaichovsky’s The Nutcracker.  Both activities were encouraged by my parents, which–looking back–explains so very, very much about the man I am today.  That, and the one time I washed my neighborfriend’s Barbie’s hair in the bathroom sink.

ANYWAYS, as a result of of my upbringing, there aren’t many things in life that I miss quite like Carrie’s puns (it’s a homo thing), but those halycon hours I as a wee gay in spent in a galaxy far, far away most certainly are one of them (it’s a nerd thing), so it’s without reservation that I bid you all good tidings on today’s most joyous of fake holidays:

happy star wars day yoda carrie bradshaw puns

It goes without saying that this pun is like Darth Vader force choking your ear drums, so yeouch!  But it’s also a nice little way to take a moment out of your day and appreciate how Star Wars might have made your life a little better.  Or, if you’re feeling like a regular ol’ Scrooge, so much worse.  For your eyes.  And your soul.  You know exactly what I’m talking about:

Sure, I could usually go and make this “How the Bitch Stole Attack-of-the-Clones-mas” myself, but I’m feeling lazy, so instead I’ll let the brilliant mind behind Red Letter Media make the case for me.  He’s gone and made a video that points out everything that’s wrong with Attack of the Clones (which guarantes it’s LOOOONG), but it’s also a sequel to his 70-minute review of The Phantom Menace (which guarantees it’s hilarious).  Fair readers and fellow nerds alike, trust me when I tell you this is a thing that you need in your life:

And now that you’ve opened that floodgate of awesome, you can catch the rest over here on YouTube.

Sure, I guess it’s a little bit bah-humbug to watch someone make an irrefutable case for Attack of the Clones being the soulless, bottom-line driven afterbirth that crawled forth from The Phantom Menace‘s bad-idea baby cavern, but then you remember you wouldn’t have this gem of a review without it, and that almost justifies Episode II‘s existence.

In other words, this is the greatest Star Wars Day miracle of all.

2 Responses

  1. And how could you forget that I had to explain to you as a 5 year old after a Star Wars extravaganza on TV that you would have to wait till the summer for the next episode, rather than it being on TV the next night.


  2. […] skills are inspiring Attack of the Clones flashbacks (which are well established as being the Worst) and nightmares instead of Fandango hits, GURHL, we’ve got a […]


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