Sex and the City BOOOOO!, or: Sometimes You Just Have to Shut Up and Drink the Kool-Aid-tini

I’m really glad that I never said I’d eat Charlotte’s spaceship hat if I became excited for Sex and the City 2, because right about now I’d be trolling Paula Deen’s website in hopes of figuring out how to best deep fry that thing.  New (and appealing!) Sex and the City 2 trailer, y’all:

Maybe the stick I’ve had up my ass about this movie has finally given me toxic shock, or perhaps my emotional age is getting to be as old as Samantha’s cooch and thus causing early onset dementia, but Sex and the City 2 doesn’t look half bad.  I mean, it doesn’t look good in the way that the latter, more emotionally nuanced seasons ever were, but I’m willing to make peace with the fact that these movies will never recapture that feel, so I might as well quit my bitching and raise the pink flag to Michael Patrick King.  Seriously, given that Carrie’s plotline is like Casablanca if Casablanca dropped the whole Nazi thing and was set in Abu Dhabi and written by a drag queen, I’m already sorta giddy.  But then there’s this moment that made me go “Whaaat?“:

No, literally, whaaat is Penelope Cruz doing in this movie?  And seeing as she is in this movie, can there please be a fabulous trying-on-wigs montage like there was in Broken Embraces?  Why am I even asking such questions?  Penelope Cruz will get me in the theaters with or without the promise of a wig montage.

Also, there’ll be a Liza Minnelli performance with Liza Minnelli drag queens, which is the sort of thing that shouldn’t have been a secret before now:

I get that Sex and the City productions are all about secrecy, but holding this little tidbit hostage (the drag queens, that is; I knew Liza was in this mess all along) while playing up Miley Cyrus’s appearance to the press is like trying to promoting your gay catnip with Miley Cyrus, which engenders the same reaction you get when you promote anything with Miley Cyrus: NOT APPEALING.

Most promising, though, has got to be the outfits in this movie.  I always knew Patricia Field could power a small village with her crazy, but I’m starting to think she just might have enough in her to juice a major metropolitan area.  That’s really the only explanation for this:

It’s like Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert had a love baby, and their love baby came down with a case of the Benjamin Buttons.  In other words, does it come in my size?

So really, how could I have not been swayed by the siren song of this Sex and the City 2 trailer?  I’ve no idea if the movie will be any good, and past precedent blah blah blah whatever.  The fact is this movie looks campier than a Sex and the City bus tour run by a bunch of half-drunk trannies, and that’s good enough for me.

Much love to Celebitchy for the trailer.

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4 Responses

  1. Just loved it… I am tempted to see it, just for your post alone, dearest!

    Like

  2. Miley Cyrus does not deserve fame. I agree.

    Like

  3. I think we should go to see this together and laugh at it.

    Like

  4. […] And by most accounts, it’s a garish mess about four “women” advocating “feminism” in the Middle East, if “feminism” means conspicuous couture consumption and keeping your love shack open for business like a 24-hour diner, of course.  In other words, Sex and the City 2 is exactly what I expected. […]

    Like

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