Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Amateur PR Corner: On the Future of Jesse James’s Public Image

Celebrities: they’re just like us!  And if you happen to be the sort of person who can’t stand black people almost as much as you can’t get enough Nazi memorabilia or sex with lots of tattooed lady friends that aren’t your wife, then rumor has it that Jesse James is just like you!  Well, the whole banging ladies with hideous forehead tattoos part is fact, but now there are all sorts of rumors circulating that Jesse James is a white supremacist who has a Hitler surfboard.  Yikes!  When you’re already considered one of the country’s most reviled men before you’re outed as a racist and a homophobe, it’s pretty safe to say that your public image is certifiably doomed after the fact.

Now seeing as I’m neither a philanderer nor a white supremacist, I don’t have a lot of experience with this sort of situation, but one time I sat in on a PR class in undergrad, which I’m pretty sure makes me qualified to add my two cents to this situation, and I’m all but convinced that if anyone can redeem Jesse James’s public image, and it’s this guy:

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Seriously, nobody likes Hitler (except white supremacists), but tons of people love the gays (except white supremacists.  And homophobes.), and everybody can appreciate a swishy gay–particularly Sue Sylvester–so why wouldn’t Gay Hitler help Jesse James’s odds?  That’s the first rule I learned in that PR class: when life gives you Hitler love, make Gay Hitler-ade.  No, wait, that was from this totally bonkers dream I had where Gay Hitler was teaching PR for White Supremacist Public Image Rehabilitation 101 on a spaceship, and James Franco was my TA, and he told me to stop by his office for extra credit, but then he turned into Shia LaBeouf when I came by his office, so naturally we made out.  Like I said: totally bonkers. I guess that’s what I get of ordering my pad kee mao extra spicy.

So on second thought, nevermind.  Jesse James’s public image is doomed.  I just wanted an excuse to post “Gay Hitler.”

And of course: TEAM SANDRA!

Much love to Ava Gacser’s blog for the pic.

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4 Responses

  1. I’m on Team Sandra. Also on Team Ben–and that dream *is* bonkers, my dear.

    We have to get together to watch my new Joan Crawford dvd box set.

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  2. You prefer Shia LaBoef to James Franco? Really? You do know JF is wandering the halls of Tisch and took Chris’s gay film class last semester….

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  3. I think your wrong. Its great PR, now every skin head and white supremacist in the nation is going to be watching Jessie James. Jessie has paved the way for other star to come out with the same veiws, If more people like gays more than Hitler than why isnt gay marriage accepted in more places. Hitler has been accepted by a large number of white power groups. the gays are only accepted by themselfs, friends and family.

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    • I think you’re wrong in so many ways that I don’t know where to begin. Suffice it to say, I sincerely doubt that the man responsible for the systematic murder of millions of individuals is going to be winning in any public opinion polls, nor do I think the majority of Americans have any support for the ideology he represents. Not all Americans support homosexuality or equal rights in marriage, yes; but that’s a far cry from accepting the sort of racial bigotry behind white supremacy.

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