Irrelevant Musings on the International Discourse of Kikkoman Soy Sauce

In America, nobody seems to think too much about soy sauce.  “Fuck that noise” is what Japan has to say to that:


And why not?  Soy sauce really is better appreciated when it’s embodied by a man in a loin cloth who has a fish for a head and is dousing freakishly large shrimp tempura kitten creatures in that savory sauce.  Just look at those faces.  They’re simply FIENDING for it.  Probably because they just saw this saucy bit of batshit insanity:

WHOAH.  Can we talk about this?  Seriously, we need to talk about this.

I’d obviously be lying if I told you anything how this video makes me want to fill a bathtub with Kikkoman soy sauce and marinate in it all weekend long.  I’m pretty sure that’s the easiest way to getting a boyfriend.  Or, at the very least, a full-body skin rash.  Either way, it’s sure to be sexy times.  But this video also leaves me with so many questions, such as “What the fuck is going on?” and “Wait a second; did that animated cat just hang itself?”  

Thank goodness there’s a translated version to provide us with answers:

Ohhh, it all is so much clearer now.  So Kikkoman came from planet soy to destroy all foreign sauces with its pectoral laser beams deliciousness (naturally) and then make like a role model by smoking and screwing like it’s none of your damn business.  Also, he will make your Japanese cat hang itself in shame when it fails to realize how Kikkoman soy sauce enhances an omelette.  

Your American cat, however, will merely go cry in a corner, which just goes to show that American cats can be such pussies sometimes.

Much love to David for stumbling across this scrumptiousness.

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One Response

  1. WTF did I just see? holy jingoism kikkoman – i will NOT destroy all foreign sauces! never.

    Like

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