This Comes as No Surprise, But Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” Will Be Bonkers

Well it seems as though some pics from the video for Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” have found there way onto the internet yesterday.  They’re crazy (duh), and we need to discuss them (double duh).

For example, there’s the hat that blends cubism, post-humanism, and a rotary phone found at a Dadaist’s stoop sale:

If I tried to make this hat myself, I’d probably burn down the Haus of Gaga with a hot glue gun.  This is why my preferred form of camping involves quoting Joan Crawford movies instead of arts and crafts.  Also, I find it strangely comforting to know that fabulously ridiculous hats are to Lady Gaga as Penny is to Desmond on Lost.  You know, constants.

And while we’re at it, shall we talk about the part where Lady Gaga throws an all-American dance-off?  Yes, let’s:

Sure, I don’t like risking nosebleeds from asking probing existential questions like “What’s the meaning of life?” or “Why is Lady Gaga dressed like she’s heading to a redneck BBQ?”, but hot damn do I hope it has something to do with this movie:

Sure, an homage to the late 1970 camp classic in which Raquel Welch plays a post-op transsexual who has gone to Hollywood to reclaim her family fortune while simultaneously combating traditional norms of gender and sexuality has about as much to do with telephones as looking like you’re about to go swimming in your trailer park’s communal above-ground pool, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t blow our minds like gangbusters.  

Lastly, if nothing else can be made for certain from these pictures, at least we can assuredly state that the video for “Telephone” will be delicious.  Literally:

Seriously, just put whatever is on that plate into my mouth.  I don’t care what it is.  Her outfit is killing me, as are the sympathy cravings I’ve been having on account of my pregnant co-worker.  It’s a problem.

So, should there still be any confusion, let’s get this clear: I can’t wait for the video for “Telephone” to drop.  

Or to bust into the Entenmann’s pound cake I’ve stashed under my desk, for that matter.

Much love to Dlisted for the finds.

5 Responses

  1. This is so great it makes me want a hair phone!


  2. love it, ben! your commentary is priceless. tell me again why you haven’t applied for the design criticism program at sva? we need you.


  3. Loving the Lost reference.
    I’m personally starting to think that in Lady Gaga’s freetime she looks around her… Lady Gaga cave? headquarters? mothership? for inanimate objects to shape her hair as.


  4. So, I read Myra for my senior seminar class (I was an English major), and read up on camp, gender norms, etc. I’m also a huge fan of Lady GaGa. Because of this post, I’m like 2 seconds away from writing an essay about the connections.

    Imma be stepping away from the laptop before I do.

    (Long time reader, first comment. Great blog.)


  5. […] generated)You’re a Nobody Until Your Private Parts Are More Talented Than Lady GagaThis Comes as No Surprise, But Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” Will Be BonkersTGIF, Now Here’s the New Video for Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”Lady Gaga – […]


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