Seriously, y’all, I don’t even want to spoil an iota of the crazy, so just watch the trailer and give yourselves a taste:
So let’s be clear on this. House is a surreal haunted-house/horror/comedy directed by Nobuhiko Obayashi. There’s a decapitated head attacking a schoolgirl:
A piano eating another schoolgirl:
A painting of a demonic cat projectile vomiting blood, and enough deliriously incongruent tonal shifts and across-the-board cinematic excess to BLOW YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN’ MIND. I’m sorry, but you have no reason to not be frothing in anticipation. Unless you are my mother, in which case you knew you were not having this movie somewhere between the poster of the demonic cat and the phrase “demonic cat projectile vomiting blood.”
So–if you haven’t already–click here to see if it’s playing in a city near you, and–if it’s not playing near you–be sure to contact email@example.com and have them fix that. Immediately.