Jersey Shore Deep Thoughts: Once Again, On Pickles

In preparation for tonight’s impending train wreck episode of Jersey Shore, I think it’s important to clear up a major Snooki-related controversy that’s taken our cultural conversation by storm: 

This past weekend I decided to try to eat a pickle Snooki style, and you know what?  YOU CAN’T SUCK PICKLE JUICE OUT OF PICKLES.   Snooki wasn’t interested in passing down need-to-know techniques to enhance the fine art of pickle appreciation.  No no, this was about oral shmex, plain and simple.  I feel so naked, y’all, so very deceived.

And, yes, this obviously raises serious questions about her assertion that she invented the poof.  Once you’re capable of telling lies about pickle juice, you’re capable of telling lies about anything.