I’ll be completely frank: even though I previously had my doubts about Tim Burton’s latest, the reality is that I never needed this past summer’s face-meltingly fantastic teaser trailer to get me excited about his upcoming Alice and Wonderland. No no, this image is far more than necessary:
SOLD!!! This image has three things that I unabashedly love: overly-ornate-to-the-point-of-camp costume details (it’s a gay thing), Anne Hathaway (also a gay thing), and killer red lipstick (it’s a Black Narcissus thing; so, in other words, yet another gay thing). People of a more discerning taste would likely only have their interests raised by such and image, but people of a more discerning taste would probably steer clear of such cinematic gems as Powder Blue and Orphan, so why would I want to associate with those people? Those people sound like such assholes.
All digressions aside, it’s safe to say that Alice in Wonderland‘s latest trailer will have even people of a more discerning taste excited because–quite honestly–it’s as though Disney just kept throwing money at Tim Burton to ride his crazy train ’til he reached Bonkerstown, which is to say that it looks totall awesome. Just look at this beaut:
As Tracy Jordan would say: what the whaaat?!? It’s Tim Burton doing a Return-to-Oz-esque take on the world of Alice in Wonderland, but they’re adding in some Lord of the Rings for good measure and blessing us with the eccentric performance triumvirate of Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter AND Crispin Glover? Oh, and it’ll be in 3-D?? CRAMAZING!!!
That all enthusiastically banshee-screeched, I’m still not having this whole business about it coming out in March, and this new trailer isn’t doing a damn bit of good to ease the situation. This means it’s probably time to upgrade my Alice in Wonderland Impatience-o-Meter from UGH to DOUBLE UGH:
Really, Disney, if the next trailer for this movie doesn’t suck at least a little, I may have to TRIPLE UGH, and you wouldn’t like me when I TRIPLE UGH.