Sweet Shimmying Moses, Japan! Must You So Recklessly Play With the Flames of the Robot Apocalypse?!?

There is no reason for anyone to like robots.  For one thing, they could very well be the harbingers of the apocalypse.  Also, they’re just creepy.  Even Asimo, that robot by Honda:

He is NOT to be trusted.  First he will replace the world’s interns and personal assistants by winning your trust when he brings you your half-caff soy latte just the way you like it, then he will be use his built-in milk-steamer/laser-canon to exterminate you and your coworkers during the robot uprising.  Duh.

That said, Asimo has nothing on this monstrosity from the Sixth Annual ROBO-ONE GATE IN INTERNATIONAL ROBOT EXHIBITION 2009 Dance Competition.  She’s basically the dead-eyed posterbot of my waking nightmares:

Look, I’m not questioning Japan’s prerogative to host an international robot dance off.  If anything, such a thing seems par for the batshit crazy course.  HOWEVER, I do question why anyone would want to bring us one step closer to the demise of mankind; or, for that matter, why they’d put said step towards our collective annihilation in a schoolgirl outfit.  That’s just irresponsible.  And gross.

Sure, she may have only been programmed to dance, and I get that it’s not really dancing so much as lurching about like she’s had one too many lycheetinis and a half a tab of Vicodin for good measure, but that doesn’t mean those dance moves won’t one day be used to KILL.  After all, we all know that robots run on battery power and ruthless ambition, and adding dancing to this equation will just make those robots younger and hungrier when coming down the metaphorical stairs of human extinction.

Really, Japan, it’s just like that saying goes: those who cannot learn from Showgirls are doomed to repeat it.  Just thought you should know before you doom us all to roboblivion.

Cheers to Videogum for sharing this unimaginable horror.

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4 Responses

  1. dear god why

    Like

  2. The things you do for our sake, dear Ben! I will most definetely have terrifying nightmares now! God bless you my child for all the horror!

    Like

  3. […] I’m Already Excited for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I Yesterday, while some of us were making it our mission to speak out against the most recent developments in the robot…, the internet was getting its first taste of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I, which […]

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  4. ^^

    Asimo wouldn’t kill nobody!

    It’s the damn vending machine you have to watch out for..

    Like

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