As Per Popular Request, I’m Breaking My Silence Surrounding the Nation’s Most Heinous Tragedy of the Past Week

Popular request means a single comment from one of a close friend, right?  Whatever.  Point is, this is not funny, interwebs:

Would you LOL if someone dropped a rump roast on this basketful of adorable puppies?

Paula Deen getting hit in the face with a ham is obviously no different.  I recognize that comparing grievous puppy abuse and Paula Deen’s minor yet nevertheless embarrassing injury may sound hyperbolic or delusional, but I’m sure we can all agree that both things are essentially the worst.  After all, puppies–like Paula Dee–only enrich our lives with cuteness.  And/or heart attacks.  Neither has done anything to warrant such violence.

HOWEVER, please don’t think I’m some Negative Nancy incapable of finding humor in another person’s misfortune.  No no, I simply like to believe that getting beaned in the face is most hilarious when it doubles as sweet, sweet justice:

Seriously, everybody else may have been deceived by her charms, but deep down we all know that Jan was right: Marcia Brady was a megabitch.

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