When It Comes to New Moon, I’m Decidedly Team This Guy

Well, New Moon is out today, and a great schism has erupted all over the interwebs:

This is an important discussion to have because you’re choosing between a wang that’s pale and ice cold and a wang that’s underage and could spontaneously sprout hair.  Hrmmm, DECISIONS.

Anyways, I’ve personally arrived at the conclusion that I’m neither Team Edward nor Team Jacob.  It’s not that I’m deliberately trying to be a finicky bitch by not answering the most important question of the new millenium, it’s just that someone else has taken my Twibreath away:


What’s not to love about being on Team Paul?  Have you seen those abs?  And that face?  And those abs?  Zoinks.  Sure, he’s obviously got some rage issues, but we can work those out with a little couples therapy and some sweet, sweet lovin’.    Hell, I’d take a straight-up mauling or twelve just to be able to touch those abs on a semi-regular to regular basis.  Maybe that makes me sound like a shallow tramp, but whatever.  Abs.

And besides, I’m ultimately making my decision based on personality anyways.  I want a man who can make me laugh, and sweet mercy is his rage face doing it for me in spades.

3 Responses

  1. I sadly saw this movie… My roommate and I decided to drink, then go see it. While the alcohol made the film tolerable (slightly), I was unaware that the film was actually a satirical romantic comedy.


  2. Im on Team-whatever-throw-away-character-Daniel-Cudmore Plays.


  3. i’m team hot native american boys that all live in the same house together in the woods. but judging by their anger/wearwolf situation, they probably wouldn’t be very sensitive indians. I prefer my indians to cry when they see people litter, make me pretty necklaces for my birthday and one day force all the white people to give me land for a casino/resort around the portland area.


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