Tuesday’s the New Hump Day, Which Is Reason Enough to Watch Melrose Place

I mean, how could you forget?  Those Melrose Place ads speak the truth, y’all:


Of course this ad’s referring specifically to crotch humping, but we’ve already been over that clever little innuendo.  The fact is that there’s simply no reason that you shouldn’t be watching the premiere tonight.  Seriously, feast your eyes on this 30-second tease of the impending trashapalooza and tell me it doesn’t sending you into a bad-taste tizzy:

Ha haha ha ha ha!  AMAZING!  I’ve honestly been far more gung-ho about this than I ever was about the 90210 reboot because the original Melrose Place is often spoken of as some sort of mid-90s camp television Holy Grail, and even the mere attempt to try and rebottle that go-for-broke-ridiculightening is all I need to dictate my plans for Tuesday evenings.  Added to that, there’s one incredibly important detail that I feel certain guarantees to make this guilty pleasure the guiltiest pleasure in ages:

Yes, that’s right: Ashlee Simpson-Wentz.  I L.O., L.O., L.O.V.E. the fact that she’s going to be on this show.  I’ve no idea if she’ll be good or bad or camptastically incredible, but that doesn’t matter.  If her performance on this show is anything akin to her pop-rock gems “La La” and “Boyfriend,” I can only imagine how much her character is going to be my (not so) secret favorite.  

Besides, she’s already come out in this clip and admitted that her character’s supposed to have a case of the crazies, and we already know what that looks like on this show:

YESSS!!! The mere possibility of Ashlee Simpson-Wentz doing her own take on the Kimberly Shaw wig reveal has got miso giddy.  So set your DVRs to Season Pass, y’all.  The new Melrose Place starts tonight, and it just might be a cornucopia of train-wreck treasures.  You can’t ask for anything more.

2 Responses

  1. Sure I can. I can ask for a return to sanity and quality television produced for people of taste and intelligence. And while I am asking for the impossible…I’d like a baby unicorn please!


  2. I also love Ashlee Simpson-Wentz. I also loved the original Melrose, because yes I am that old.

    But this one, as yet, hasn’t gelled for me.

    As for quality TV, we have our beloved Mad Men. Ben–you’re a little behind on your glorious recaps. I’d love to hear your comments on Betty’s bitchery while giving birth.


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