DO. NOT. WANT.

Really?  REALLY???

I’m not one to take much stock in a story that first emerged from a Twitter feed, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be utterly outraged by the mere thought of it.  So here are 140 characters (or less!) from Production Weekly are likely to crush your soul:

Lionsgate is developing a remake of the 1987 classic “Dirty Dancing,” from a new script by Julia Dahl.

Of course, there’s a logical and immediate reaction to this bad idea to end all other bad ideas:

dirty dancing remake

As is, this is already pretty much the most abysmal idea I’ve ever heard, and that’s not even considering about how I’m possibly biased because one of the movie’s most famous lines is directly responsible for this blog’s name.  I’m most certainly am biased, yes, but there’s also no denying that Dirty Dancing is one of the iconic pop masterpiece of the 1980s.  You really can’t top Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey dancing to “Time of My Life,” so why the hell bother trying?

Also, the Dirty Dancing remake is being scripted by the woman responsible for this:

Yes, that’s right: Julia Dahl, the woman responsible for writing Uptown Girls, is going to be writing the Dirty Dancing remake.  That movie was terrible, so logic dictates that the Dirty Dancing remake will be excellent.  Hollywood makes perfect sense like that.

I guess I should just be happy that it’s not being written by the people responsible for “Molly Smiles,” but that’s like being thankful that your right testicle was punched as opposed to your left one.  The fact remains that someone’s still punching your balls, and that’s always the worst.    

Cheers to Videogum for dropping the awful bomb.

2 Responses

  1. What a shocking blow. O_o It isn’t enough that “Footloose” is being remade, no, they have to go for the throat!

    It seems as though Hollywood is ashamed of the great achievements of the great 80’s. Hollywood wants everyone to go all “High School Musical”. *sigh*

    It’s enough to make one want to throw up.

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  2. Yeah, I saw the news the other day and wanted to kill myself. Remember the sequel, Havana Nights? What’s that, you don’t? Oh, is it because nostalgia only works if there are robots or men that grew up and still wear black shirts with animated graphics on them? Hmm…

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