Crushing On Colin Farrell Is the New Riding A Bicycle

Back during my freshman year of college, if you asked me how I felt about about Colin Farrell, you’d probably not get a coherent response so much as a stream of school-girlish noises that vaguely resembled squeals of enthusiasm filtered through a ridiculousness purifier:

Colin Farrell !!!

I bought Tigerland on DVD because there’s an out-of-focus shot of his business in it.  I nearly took out my roommate’s girlfriend as I darted to get in front of the television when he introduced U2 during the 2003 Academy Awards.  I sat through Daredevil.  And S.W.A.T.  In short, I was an utter embarrassment.

However, like all crushes, my interests waned.  I largely attribute this to both my fickle tastes and seeing Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.  Oh, follies of youth!

ANYWAYS, I was certain I was done with that business.  CERTAIN.  He won his Golden Globe this spring and, while I was happy to see him make a comeback, I wasn’t reduced to banshee-like shrieking.   Then I saw this video, though, and the shrieking recommenced:

First of all, let’s be clear: I didn’t search for this video.  YouTube suggested it to me based on other videos I’ve watched.  Quite frankly, this fact frightens me because nothing I’ve ever watched suggests that the one thing missing from my life was seeing Colin Farrell slow dance to opera (OPERA!) and kiss another guy.  If YouTube is this intuitive, then I’m pretty certain we’re one step closer to the robot apocalypse.

None the less, I’m just glad I didn’t see this clip way back when.  Had I seen this scene from A Home at the End of the World when it came out in theaters, I’m pretty certain my uncontrollable excitement would’ve resulted in the nuclear holocaust of gaysplosions.  I’m no longer at the height of my Colin Farrell crush, but that hasn’t stopped this video from inflicting a seriously debilitating case of the vapors.  It’s like being 18 all over again, but twice as embarrassing because I’m now an adult!

Whatever.  If loving Colin Farrell is wrong, I most clearly don’t want to be right.  !!!, y’all.

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One Response

  1. […] passing the time by cackling not-so-quietly to Benji’s latest witticisms.  His last post, with its mention of the possibility that YouTube’s intuitive recommendations may be a sign of …, got me thinking.  Personally, I’ve always found the evolution of artificial intelligence […]

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