Twittering is Now Officially an Art

Or is it tweeting?  Je ne sais pas.  Whatever.  I may be Twitter-illiterate and prone to using the damn thing every once and a blue moon when I remember that I’ve actually got an account, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the way it’s changing the way we interact.  I mean, if Time says so, it must be true!

Anyways, I was more than delighted to find that I got a new follower over the weekend, and this girl means business:

twitter spam

Ruh-roh!  Looks like we need to get Pussy Control on the line ‘cos this lil’ snatch on the prowl!

I’ve little doubt in my mind that the above hyperlink is for porn and/or a virus.  I don’t need to click it to prove my point because I don’t need my screen exploding with boobs at work.  Besides, while I may not be their target audience in terms of bringing my lusty eyes, I’ve got Showgirls and Powder Blue, so I can always boob myself to oblivion from the comfort of my own home.  Really, there’s no need, but there is a need to commend this piece of porn spam.  

I applaud you for taking the guise of innocent looking girl with an extremely ravenous fish taco.  I love your avant-garde-yet-totally-believable vision of a future where people twitter away about how their crotches are auditioning for the lead in Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Movie.  Mostly, Mr. Porn Spam, I adore the fact that, in your inability to follow the 140-character limit, you’re now simply looking for a “boy or girl” who is “disease and drug.”  Is this a Dadaesque commentary on the degeneration of social standards and acceptable behavior and sexual practices in an era in which we communicate our deepest thoughts and darkest desires and what we’ve put on our sandwich in a meager 140 characters?  Are you suggesting that, as the size and scope of the our ideas shrinks, we also in turn shrink our standards?  Oh, Porn Spam, you’ve blown my mind with your 140-characters-long mind bullets fashioned from PURE, INTERNET-ERA ART!  

And since it reminded me, allow me to share with you the original ode to the eager beaver:

You’re welcome.

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One Response

  1. I want to follow your twitter too but I can’t find it.
    Ben–we need to get together soon! I haven’t even seen Powder Blue yet.

    Like

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