Orphan‘s Marketing Campaign Ages Like Fine Cheese

Some months back, I randomly stumbled upon the totally ridiculous looking trailer for Orphan,and I immediately began to wonder what the hell her secret is.  Of course, I’m equally curious as to why Vera Farmiga keeps getting saddled with Bad Seed rip-offs, and I’d love to know why Peter Sarsgaard said yes to this mess, but none of these questions can distract me from the most important fact that this movie looks ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT INSANE, and so I naturally can’t wait.  The latest TV spot is just a 30-second taste of the crazy, but–like a good cheese–things are looking ever more delicious as time goes by:

I first thought this looked more like trashy camp, and I still get tingly whenever I see Vera’s hysterics, and there’s apparently a scene where a car is driven into there house (totally awesome, but also huh?), but I’m beginning to think this movie looks to be both completely ridiculous and creepy as hell.  There’s something about the way that girl puts her homicidal bitchface on with such aplomb.  Seriously, when I see that final shot, I don’t know whether to giggle with camp glee or piss myself in terror.  After taking a good look at the poster, though, I’ve gotta go with the latter:


orphan

Isabelle Fuhrman’s one little girl I’d really not like to meet in a dark alley.  I get this vibe that she’d fuck your shit up with a smile on her face. 

At this point, I’m totally on board for seeing this movie opening day.  I’m still curious as to what this big secret is, and I gladly welcome your thoughts on this summer’s most burning question, but I think the real question at this point is whether I should see it with friends or by myself.  On one hand, I feel like this is the perfect sort of movie to get a whole group together for no matter if it’s terribly good or terribly bad; regardless of quality Orphan certainly looks like the sort of ridiculousness you’ll want to share with your friends.

On the other hand, I’m not sure I want my friends to know I’ve been known shriek like a little girl when frightened.

Oh well, I guess we’re all faced with tough choices like that.

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