For many of my generation (myself included), Saved by the Bell stands as a pop culture touchstone. Like Scott Baio in Charles in Charge, the constant excuses to strip Zack and Slater of there shirts was really just an excuse to teach young girls and gay boys the joys of objectifying the male form, and of course there’s also those unforgettable episodes. Who doesn’t remember the day they found oil under the Bayside High football field, or when Jessie was so excited yet so scared, or the way Screech forever pined after Lisa Turtle, or that time the lesbian replaced Kelly and Jessie:
Remember her? Such a lesbian. But an iconic lezzie, to be sure. My point is that everybody (of a certain generation) loves Saved by the Bell.
Particularly Jimmy Fallon.
He’s been trying to organize a Saved by the Bell reunion in a desperate bid for late-night relevancy an effort to listen to the hopes and dreams of a generation. It’s been gradually gaining steam, particularly with Mark Paul Gosselaar’s recent in-character appearance as Zack Morris. Seriously, the interwebs went crazy for that clip, but of course the real story got buried beneath all the hoopla over the nostalgia for giant early-90s cell phones and frosted tips: Elizabeth Berkley’s confirmed that she too shall take part in the Saved by the Bell reunion! That’s exciting, but I think we know what we all really need:
Don’t even try to lie to me: you know this would be the greatest thing in the entire world. After all, did Mark Paul Gosselar star in cinema’s single greatest achievement camp of achievement of the 90s–if not all time ever ever? Nope. Did Mario Lopez ever have seizure sex in a pool that had a dolphin fountain and neon-light-adorned palm trees? Nein. Did Tiffani(-Amber) Thiessen ever mispronounce Versace, and did Lark Voorhies (aka, Ms. Turtle) ever learn the truly life-altering epiphany that “Dancing ain’t fucking”? Don’t think so.
Only Elizabeth Berkley can answer in the affirmative to any and all of these quandaries, and if she’s going to take part in a Saved by the Bell reunion, she damn well better be game for a Showgirls reunion. I get that none of the other cast members from Saved by the Bell will have to live with the notoriety of starring in what’s considered to be one of the worst movie ever made, but nobody else from that cast can claim to be a claim to a camp icon, and also, Elizabeth Berkley wasn’t in Dead Man on Campus. Saved by the Bell may speak to a generation, but Showgirls speaks to the lovers of camp, and us bitches aren’t limited by any age.
Really, all you have to do is get Elizabeth Berkley, Gina Gershon, Kyle MacLachlan, Glen Plummer and Rena Riffel into a room together and things would get so shrieky that you’d swear Robert Pattinson had arrived at a Twilight convention. They wouldn’t even have to speak; just bringing that cast back together would be absolutely delicious. How delicious? This delicious:
Didn’t you know that stripper pole is the gold standard of deliciousness? I guess you learn something new every day.
Showgirls reunion, y’all: LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN!