Damn You, Post Grad Trailer! Must You Exploit My Weaknesses So?

I fully recognize that, over the past few weeks, I’ve taken a rather aggressive dive into what some people may call “insanity,” but I prefer to call it “camp appreciation.”  Whatever.  The point being, while I may get rather excitable when talking about Obsessed and super duper excitable when even alluding to Powder Blue, I can still tell a bad movie when I see one.  Ladies and gents, Post Grad is one such movie:

It’s a Hollywood take the quarter-life crisis!  Lots of laughs (ruh-roh, you’ve been spotted making out by your whole family, and your little brother’s fascinated by the fact that you’ve got boobs; incest: it’s always a riot!), tons of drama (he’s moving to NYC for law school?  mais non!), and many an important life lesson (“What you do with your life is just one half of the equation.  More important is, who you’re with when you’re doing it.”  PROFOUND!) are all packed into Post Grad!  Yikes.

This movie frankly looks about as exciting as a stale rice cake and as original as a stack of photocopies printed on recycled paper; furthermore, it doesn’t help this movie’s cause that it’s staring Alexis Bledel, the actress who has done absolutely nothing for me ever since Gilmore Girls.  The plot looks predictable, and it’ll indubitably end up with Alexis Bledel finding a job in New York City and living with the rather dreamy boyfriend because that’s how living in New York City is.  All of us find jobs in a snap and have dreamy boyfriends.  There, I’ve saved you $12 dollars and made you enviable of the NYC lifestyle all at the same time.  You’re welcome.

All that being said, I still plan on seeing this movie.  Why?  It’s really quite simple:

1. The Men:  Any movie that stars a tag team of handsomeness in terms of its romantic leads is completely fine in my book.  We all know how I feel about Mr. Santoro, and while I definitely think Post Grad looks to be missing the oh-so-integral Rodrigo-Santoro-is-shirtless scene, I’m not going to complain.  The best friend, played by Zach Gilford, is also a total catch.  Clearly this movie’s about Alexis Bledel being a thick-skulled idiot who should’ve gotten on that sooner and doesn’t deserve the ridiculuck to find herself in such a conundrum between such fine examples of dreamboat boyfriends, but that’s fine with me.  Rodrigo Santoro’s appearance is like the drop of blood in the water to my big, gay shark.  Seriously, try and stop me.
2. The Supporting Cast:  On a very nice and generous day, I’m ambivalent about Alexis Bledel, so I recognize that there’s a veritable catch 22 in seeing Post Grad.  But there’s also Michael Keaton’s proving that there’s life after career death.  Added to that, Jane Lynch is an always welcome addition, and there’s freakin’ Carol Burnett!  Really, all I need anyone to say to me is, “Carol Burnett’s in that  movie,” and you’d better believe I’ll be there.  I don’t care if this may end up constituting as slumming it when all is said and done; I believe in this supporting cast!
3. That Damn Song at the End of the Trailer*:  What is this song?  Who does it?  Doesn’t it kinda sound like every song at the end of every episode of every teen soap opera from the decade?  To answer: I don’t know; you’ve got me; and absolutely yes.  That’s why I must see this movie.  If I had a soundtrack to my life, it would be put together by the people that do the music for Gossip Girl.  It would of course be of very little substance, but damn would you feel the bittersweet pangs of romance by the time the song is done.  Isn’t that how it should always be?

So, yes, I’m fully aware of the fact that Post Grad looks bad in a generic, cookie cutter, innocuous sort of way.  This is a peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich-on-white-bread-with-the-crusts-cut-off kind of movie, but you know what?  Sometimes I like my movies simple and without surprises, particularly when they hit all the angles to get me into the theater.  Delish.

*And to note, as an update, Nathan indeed called it: the song is “Show Me What I’m Looking For” by Carolina Liar, and sweet mercy is it a melodramatic hot mess.