Oh Noes! Lisa Kudrow’s Also Taking a Ride on the Powder Blue Train-Wreck Express

And her character is just filled with great ideas.  What do you give to the man who tried to unsuccessfully pay a transgendered prostitute to kill himself?  A piece of apple pie, obviously!

And, damn, her waitress looks good, y’all.  How does she do it?

Ohhhh, she has a secret to her success, and it apparently involves hanging her dress over the dining table  to help motivate her to forgo sharing a slice of apple pie.  I totally forgot how detrimental having a single bite of apple pie can be to one’s waste line.  Seriously, the second a bit of that flaky crust hits your lips, you just balloon up like the incredibly obese Hulk.  It’s true; I’ve been there.  The whole experience quite unpleasant, and the purple pants you inexplicably always find yourself in are just such an unflattering shade of mulberry.

Or perhaps it’s a slippery-slope-of-addiction sort of thing.  One minute she’s trying a bite of that freshly baked deliciousness, and then suddenly the morning shift at her diner is waking her up.  Pie pans and bits of crust are strewn across the floor, and her hands and face are covered in the syrupy fillings of a dozen unsuspecting left-over desserts that met their unpleasant fate in her orgiastic and untethered thirst for scrumptious fruit-filled pastries.

Admittedly, the acting in this scene is shockingly subdued in this scene.  Gone are the over-the-top camp theatrics in favor of people behaving more like awkward robots programmed to execut sighs, smirks that mask deep-seated pain, and unnecessary conversational pauses in order to make them appear more naturalistic and human and less completely dead behind the eyes.  

Added to that, the dialogue in this scene is profoundly worthless.  Lisa Kudrow wanting to be thin and observing that Forest Whitaker’s smile deceptively hide his sorrow are things that say nothing relevant about either character.  They’re ciphers of psuedo-illuminating dialogue meant to make you ask deep questions about human interrelations; however, “HUH???” is the only question that this scene really leaves you asking.  

Let’s be clear: everything in this scene is still completely terrible, but this is terrible in a new and different way.  This clip suggests that Powder Blue is like an onion of bad movies; each scene reveals unto us a whole new level of awful that this movie is capable of achieving.  If these clips are any indication for how tonally inconsistent yet consistently misguided Powder Blue will be, then congratulations are then in order for Timothy Linh Bui.  I won’t start the the one-man’s-slow-clap-that-gradually-grows-into-a-thunderous-applause-from-the-entire-crowd just yet, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to doing my wrist exercises in preparation.  After all, May 8th is just around the corner…

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One Response

  1. […] than Christmas because we’re getting Forest Whitaker begging a tranny prostitute to kill him, Lisa Kudrow sharing her tips to a successful diet, and a whole bunch of Jessica Biel’s ACTING.  And her dirty pillows.  Mostly, though, […]

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