You Cannot Take the Gay Out of Lady Gaga

At best, you can make her sound like she’s going to be the song they play on the ending montage of a Gossip Girl episode:

The music says, “I’m sensitive and hurting; xoxo, you know you love me, now please give me a hug.”  I can just see Dan/Chuck/Blair/Nate/whoever walking contemplatively in the dark streets of New York while this song plays.  Serena will claim she’s killed someone yet again because she just had to shine, Kristen Bell will have a pithy and pun-laden monologue, and we’ll cut to Jenny making the saddest of raccoon eyes at her sewing machine.  Seriously, this song is just like listening to All American Rejects.  If All American Rejects were fronted by a woman who behaves drag queen.  

And what of “Just Dance”?  Oh, you’ve no idea.  If you you mix Lady Gaga and heavy metal, you’ve got a recipe for head explosions:

Is that not the best?  I really think it’s the best.  The font suggests Slipknot, but those hand claps positively scream 1980s Madonna.  Perhaps I’m wrong, but the hand claps take “Just Dance” to an entirely new stratosphere of homosexuality.    You’ve outdone Lady Gaga, sir.  Well played.

I can’t even imagine what’ll happen when “LoveGame” gets reworked in this fashion.  Lady Gaga’s Homo-Force is so strong that the internet just might break from that insanity.  The word “discostick” is not meant to encounter with death metal guitars, but–like the hadron collider–it must be done.

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3 Responses

  1. Haha. I suppose you can’t COMPLETELY take the gay out of gaga but I sort of liked the Pokerface Rock ! I tried reworking Love Game but rather than death metal it sounded like one of those military songs. You know, where you chant one line and everyone else repeats it ? You have to try it.

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    • Oh, let’s be clear: I loved the “Poker Face” remix. Hell, it was the inspiration for this post. I love the fact that she’s inspiring such wondrous reinterpretations. I’d love to hear what you did with “LoveGame.” I honestly can’t shake that song from my head, and I welcome any and all reinterpretations.

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  2. […] impressively about Lady Gaga is that her homo force is completely unstoppable.  No amount of effort can extricate her gayness; she’s like a nuclear power plant of hyper-camp queerdom.  And trust me when I say that even […]

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