Lady Gaga: 1, My Resistance to Lady Gaga: 0

For quite some time, I’ve been trying to not give Lady Gaga even the slightest shred of respect.  Her interview in Entertainment Weekly had me convinced that she was a batshit insane hack as she talked about the feminism of riding a “discostick,” her “art,” and her self-made comparisons to Andy Warhol.  Yes, Lady Gaga, an allergy to pants and a penchant for ridicu-sunglasses truly qualifies as inspired feminist pop art.  I really must brush up on on my art history; I’ve clearly forgotten so much!

Much to my surprise and horror, though, Lady Gaga has proved my bitchiness wrong.  Maybe it’s that her  New York Magazine profile paints her as a self-aware, “post-camp persona,” and we all know how much I love all things camp.  Second to U2, I love it the most.  Reading that she takes fashion inspiration from transvestives is the sort of thing that makes me fall in love with a woman; and by fall in love, I mean want to be her best friend.  I’m no tranny myself (the beard makes it kinda difficult), but any performer that wants to queer-up pop culture is a-okay in my book.  

Mostly, though, I have to give it up for Ms. Gaga because of her video for “LoveGame.”  Don’t even start to think this mess is safe for work, suitable for viewing if you’re my mother, or remotely heterosexual in its stylings.  Once you’ve accepted those three simple things, though, you’re thoroughly prepared for this dazzling atom bomb of glittery homosexuality:

I don’t even know if there are words that can express the intense heights of homosexuality that this video reaches.  It’s as though Lady Gaga has climbed the Mt. Everest of gaydom and then built a gay high rise where she now resides in its gay penthouse.  She’s completely kicked the ass of the collective gay community by out-gaying each and every one of us.  I look like a frat boy at a strip club talking about sports while getting a lap dance from a girl with blond hair and big boobs in comparison; Chris Crocker looks positively bicurious.  “LoveGame” is like her announcing that she has the technology; she want us to be better, stronger, faster.  And much, MUCH gayer.  She wants to build the bionic fag.

The one thing that confuses me is why Lady Gaga is getting her “sexy” on for her posse of obviously gay men either in large groups or with pairs on a bench.  One of these guys is wearing a mesh tank top, for Pete’s sake!  I don’t think I’m going out on a limb when I say I’m quite sure that she won’t be taking a ride on any of their discosticks.  Otherwise this video makes perfect (non)sense.  

Of all the crazy trains, I think we can agree:  Lady Gaga’s has the most comfy seats and the best meals in the dining car.  Seriously, girl, you’ve gotta try the steak; it’s divine.