Never Forget That Isabella Rossellini’s the Greatest

It’s pretty hard to deny that Isabella Rossellini’s an incredible woman.  She’s a comedic genius:

She’s also a genius genius.  Her web series for the Sundance Channel, Green Porno, couldn’t be more amazing if it tried.  The series sounds scandalous, but it’s really about as inappropriate as a rather bawdy biology lesson.  Isabella Rossellini dresses as various insects and recounts their sexual habits, gender-bending and anthropomorphizing these mating rituals into educational monologues that are as hilarious as they are enlightening.  I suspect this is not entirely safe for work (I’d guess it’s PG-13ish?), but you truly haven’t lived until you’ve witnessed the Ms. Rossellini discuss the batshit insanity that is snail sex:


Whoah.  I’m not sure what’s more crazy: the fact that snails actually reproduce like that, or the zealous glee with Isabella Rossellini recounts the act.  Whatever it is, it’s freakin’ astounding.

Then today I was reading my New York Magazine on the subway when I stumbled upon this rather delightful profile on Isabella Rossellini.  Go read it, y’all.  You will not be disappointed.  Besides being the daughter of two of cinema’s great legends and possessing her own distinctively reputable career, the article pretty much proves it: Isabella Rossellini is the greatest.

She’s a canine midwife for seeing-eye dogs, she writes poems dedicated to the wonders of the lady cavern, her voice is like velvet butter, and she ponders as to whether or not whale sex is a censorable act in documentary filmmaking.  PEOPLE, NOBODY IS BETTER THAN ISABELLA ROSSELLINI.  We seriously need to find a way to distill and bottle whatever magical essence flows through her brain and sell it as Liquid Brilliance.  Until then, we’ll just have to settle for the second season of Green Porno, which drops April 1st.


One Response

  1. […] YESSSSSS!!!!  All the gender-bending, elementary-school-play quality costumes, and colored-paper props we’ve come to know and love over the first season have returned to teach us about the sex lives of marine life.  It’s just another reminder of how Isabella Rossellini’s totally the greatest. […]


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