Lindsay Lohan’s the Face of Something You Do Not Want to Buy

Lindsay Lohan used to be a contender.  I mean, how can you deny the talent?  Anybody who remembers I Know Who Killed Me knows she’s the best.  At delivering the worst performances.  Seriously, though, I loved her in Mean Girls, so it saddens me to say that she’s been reduced to spokesperson for, well, something called Fornarina:

Fornarina is, according to this ad, a self-described “celebrity fashion style.”  I say self-described because that garbage looks likes something you’d find in the hooker section of a TJ Maxx.  Yikes.

This entire ad is quite simply a hot pink train wreck of disastrous proportions.  I don’t particularly understand what celebrity style would involve wearing what quite frankly appears to be–and my apologies in advance to those with delicate sensibilities–anal beads around your neck, but I’m guessing it’s pretty cheap and trashy if it employs Ms. Lohan as its spokesperson.  Seeing as she’s clearly not eating, I bet the people at Fornarina are paying her in Red Bull and cigarettes.  Breakfast of champions, that.

I’ll give her this, though: Lindsay Lohan’s now my Halloween costume idea NUMERO UNO.  All you have to do is find the sleaziest street walker outfit you can find at a Salvation Army, top it with a truly shiteous blond wig, and then you wander around your party pointing and saying inane one syllable words.  Just like Gwyneth’s clams, it couldn’t be simpler.

Cheers to Dlisted for posting this mess.

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5 Responses

  1. Are you kidding? I am now going to buy Fornarina exclusively. FIVE stars.

    Like

  2. […] that if they have snorting robots, one of these robots will be modeled after Lindsay Lohan.  The Lohanbot will be powered by Red Bull and, despite being constantly followed by cameras, do absolutely […]

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  3. […] I Know Who Killed Me?  Maybe the (not really at all) shocking lesbian relationship?  Was it Fornarina?  Okay, fine, I guess it’s easier to overshadow Lindsay Lohan’s early potential nearly […]

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  4. […] Well, there’s this company called Fornarina, but their clothes are utterly […]

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  5. […] ridiculous task of reviewing every track off U2’s No Line on the Horizon in Haiku, that one time Lindsay Lohan tried to sell us outfits adorned with anal beads, and that other time I learned to stop worrying and love Lady Gaga’s (gay) […]

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