Move Over, “Citizen Kane”, There’s a New American Cinematic Masterpiece in Town

In my state of perpetual singleness, I often ponder what to do on Valentine’s Day.  This traditionally involves a combination of white wine, cheesecake/ice cream, and Bridget Jones’s Diary (because I’m actually a 40-year-old housewife, duh).  Well thank goodness I can bust out of that rut!  Behold, what is clearly to be AFI’s next greatest movie ever made: Burning Passions.  (Be warned, what follows may surprised, and certainly has the ghost of Orson Welles wishing he’d shot higher than just ripping on William Randolph Hearst).


Brilliant, although I suspect they might’ve borrowed this conceit from Godard.  According to the website, the filmmakers describe Burning Passions like so: 

“[The movie represents] a deep and meaningful exploration of male sexual identity and our mass culture’s tendency to objectify women to the point that sexual expression becomes one of violence more often than love.”

Riiiiiiiiiiight.  I’m pretty certain that this is in fact just a movie about a guy who shoots fire from his dingaling.  But I’m just putting it out there as an alternate reading.  All I know is that I’ll totally be signing up to watch its web-premiere on Valentine’s Day.  Sounds like you’ve been replaced, Bridget Jones.  I guess I don’t really like you just as you are.

Thanks, Gawker.

One Response

  1. […] those early posts were about a hodge podge of things like the world’s greatest condiment, a movie about a man that ejaculates fire, a banana monster, the dazzling directorial debut of Showgirl’s Rena Riffel, a music video […]


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