You might think Black Tank Top’s having all the fun (check out her cool dance moves! Arms! Head bops! ARMS! COOL MOVES, GIRLFRIEND!!!), but you’d be wrong! It’s actually Red Polo that’s winning this outdoor rave. Seriously. He’s killing it like a zombie. Here, just take a look, and you’ll see what I’m talking about:
The (Zombie) Beatles Will Be Your New Favorite Band
August 3, 2009
You know what has caused countless generations to just totally lose their shit and embrace their inner hot mess?
You know what else has caused countless generations (of nerds) to just totally lose their shit and embrace their inner hot mess?
But zombies are no longer just for nerds, y’all! Between box office successes like 28 Days Later and Dawn of the Dead and big-deal books like World War Z and the Shmathan-approved Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, it seems that zombies have wormed (pun intended ‘cos it’s a joke about decomposing bodies, GET IT???) their way into the popular zeitgeist.
Is Sandra Lee is My New Favorite Food Lady?
July 17, 2009
Despite the fact that I’ve never met a meal I didn’t like (and I’ve even had the McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish, which probably says many a thing about my cast-iron stomach and my utter lack of any culinary sensibilities), I’m not a Food Network junkie. This is particularly curious seeing as Food Network plays home to my Southern-fried soulmate, Paula Deen:
Seriously, this lady that advocates eating like heart-attacks are the new dogs-in-purses and speaks with an accent that’s thicker than sawmill gravy. She’s completely crazy, but in the best way possible (i.e., with ample amounts of butter). I was all but certain that my love for her could never be challenged, but–like the best laid schemes of mice and men–I had not anticipated witnessing the mind-altering brilliance that is this highly concentrated dose of Sandra Lee’s particular brand of insanity sauce:
Whoah-and-three-quarters, y’all. Much of this video’s genius, admittedly, is in the editing. It’s so perfectly executed that you begin to suspect that Sergei Eisenstein, the father of montage theory himself, would have kind words for the work displayed above. That is, if he was still alive. Or a zombie.
That all said, it doesn’t change the fact that Sandra Lee sounds like she might kill her parents with those incredible foodgasms she’s having. Nor does it change the fact she really loves her cocktail time, and it certainly doesn’t change the fact the only thing she loves more than cocktail time is saying the world delicious. Maybe I’m just gravitating to the magnetic pull of her feathered hair, or perhaps it’s something in the way that she says paprika, but all I know for certain is that she’s captivated the heart of this homo. She’s giving Paula Deen a serious run in the favorite-food-lady department, and I think we know what this means:
Jane Austen + Supernatural Creatures = Heaven
July 16, 2009
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a thing without zombies must be in want of zombies. I firmly believe that. For you see, I love zombies. I pray daily that the Zombie Apocalypse will occur in my liftime; hopefully, when I still possess the majestic biceps that will enable me to wield a chainsaw with surgical precision. Just ask Benji, with whom I spent many a lovely evening viewing such cinematic classics as Dead Alive and Dawn of the Dead. They left many fond memories, and led to many a pithy a comment by Benji, though I must admit I was most amused by his reaction to 28 Days Later: “Oh FUCK THIS! I did not sign on for fast zombies!!!“ While my love of zombies perhaps does not quite equal my love for Daniel Cudmore, it runs firmly and deep–just as a deep as my adoration for a certain Ms. Austen.
The Bestest: Worcestershire Sauce Edition
February 3, 2009
While the primary intention of this blog is to be a source of movie reviews (albeit with the occasional tangential diatribe), I’ve decided–for reasons beyond all logic–that my Christening post should be about the wonder that is the Worcestershire. Go figs.
Anywhosey, Worcestershire indubitably makes everything better, hence it being the Bestest. Soups? You betcha. Hamburgers? Without a doubt! Gravy? Mmmmyesplease!!! Ice cream? Don’t see why not. Seriously, were it not for the fact that it’s apparently “socially unacceptable” (whatever the hell that means), I’d bathe in that shit, and I would smell DELICIOUS.
Also, Worcestershire sauce is the secret ingredient to zombies. Seriously: Bestest.