In other words, Muse covering “Where the Streets Have No Name” is not a life-ruining monstrositythat must be stopped, but you would expect as much seeing as how the Edge joined them on stage at the Glastonbury Festival to help them nail it. Muse–with very special guest the Edge–performing “Where the Streets Have No Name,” y’all:
Now that Lee DeWyze has won this season of American Idol, we can all listen at our own risk to his cover of U2′s “Beautiful Day.” I personally imagine it to be the soundtrack to my own personal Hell–the one where it plays on infinite loop over an endless montage of inspirational moments from sports movies–because I hate sports movies (that are not A League of Their Own, DUH) almost as much as I love U2. But I digress.
Here’s a video of someone’s mom reacting to last night’s American Idol finale:
It has come to my attention that if Lee DeWyze wins this season’s American Idol, his first single will be his rendition of U2′s “Beautiful Day.” That is unacceptable, because his version is just like the leather hoodie he’s wearing during this performance (AWFUL):
Blech.
Sure, I recognize that many of you out there are like, “But Benjamin, what version of ‘Beautiful Day’ doesn’t suck?” and that’s fine. Seeing as I’m too-U2-fanboy-to-function (as has been repeatedly evidenced here), I’m inclined to disagree, but disagreeing is one of those things upon which we can all agree. And you know what else we can agree on? Lee DeWyze’s version is a total bore.
UGH. I hate to make like a brokenrecord, y’all, but for realsies:
I can already feel early onset withdrawal coming on, and boy is it bleak. It’s so bad that I’ve had to work extra hard on my shimmies to help balance out the shakes, and I’ve had to buy myself industrial strength spoons to make sure I don’t accidentally swallow my tongue in the process. Like I said, bleak.
Anyways, the one upside to being such a human train wreck is that it’s gotten me thinking about Lost fan videos, or–to be more specific–the lack of Lost fan videos. Seriously, the internet is a bastion for all of us nerds with too much time on our hands to obsess over things like Lost, or which image should come next in their YouTube Miley Cyrus fan video slide show. Sadly for me, I’m too technologically incompetent to know how to make or even upload a YouTube video. Hell, I can barely make a gif, and I have to write up all my blog posts on a typewriter and then have have a 15-year-old transcribe them into C++ (that’s how it works, right?), because the interwebs are for the young and I am OLD. My point is, I’ve come up with a list of Lost fan videos that I think should happen, and I think we, the internet, need to make them happen. For example:
Song: U2′s “No Line on the Horizon”
Why: U2′s ambient rock hymn to a “girl who’s like the sea” is transformed into one fan’s ode to the mysteries of the island itself. The lines “Time is irrelevant/It’s not linear” take on a whole new meaning that encapsulates the time-shifting experience Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse have crafted over the course of six seasons. On the down side, though, there’s no mention of narrative meandering, inexplicably dropped plot threads, or a last-act explanation of “Your questions lead to more questions, so here is a cave of golden light.”
I used to think that my loves for U2 and drag queens were doomed to be two disparate affections that only came together for a single, magical moment circa Achtung Baby:
U2 has announced that Sunday night’s concert at the Rose Bowl is being filmed for a future DVD release … and that it will be streamed live online, too. According to an email being sent to U2.com subscribers, the webcast will begin at 8:30 pm PT.
Yes, there are downsides to staying up ’til 2 am on account of your inability to exhibit an ounce of self-control when U2 is involved. You may be really tired at work the next day for example. Or perhaps you find yourself having to hide that shiner your roommate gave you because you couldn’t stop shrieking at your computer. Worthy sacrifices, I’d say.
Seriously, check out this trailer and tell me it won’t be worth a punch to the face:
Actually, it’s technically in New Jersey, which has as a result made figuring out the quickest and easiest commute a nightmare. When you live in Brooklyn and plan to go to work the next day, getting back to your apartment at 3 am on account of unprepared public transportation system is simply not an option.
Nevertheless, last night I had a vision of the imminent future of Giant Stadium’s attendees, and it looked like this:
See, that police officer clearly HATES that girl having that melt-down because she’s being so incredibly loud that he’ll probably have irreversible hearing damage for the rest of his life. I will soon be that girl, and that cop will soon be anyone in the vicinity of me at the U2 show tonight. This is what we call a visual metaphor.
Anyways, the problem with me and going to a U2 show is that I lack any concept of self-control. If I know the lyrics, I will sing that song at the top of my lungs. I will dance. I will jump about. When nothing else is happening, I’ll be cheering ’til my vocal chords bleed/I’m mistaken for an escaped howler monkey by animal control . I might even vomit on account of excess enthusiasm. I know these are just signs of my unwavering commitment to U2 Motion, but I pretty much become that guy at the concert, and so I preemptively apologize to whoever sits around me at tonight’s show. I can’t help it. I’ve been brimming with U2thusiasm for months and months, and it’s time to let it all out like a dusted damn.
That, and I’ll probably operating on one hell of a sugar rush after I eat one of these bad boys for dinner:
Mon dieu, y’all! Did you hear the news today about Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, the Spider-Man musical that was to be directed by Julie Taymor and has songs written by Bono and the Edge? It’s simply terrible:
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Not an indefinite hiatus! Damn you, recession! You’re ruining EVERYTHING.
Last week, production crews at both the Hilton Theatre and the scene shop where the show was being built were put on “hiatus” because the producers ran out of money. Assistants in the scene shop “ran to the bank to cash their checks because they weren’t sure they’d clear,” a source says.
Now comes word that the actors have been released from their contracts, with no incentive (i.e., money) to hang around waiting for the production to get back on track.
While I’m rather certain Shmarker will be deeply disappointed by this news, I personally can’t say that I’m that sad. Or even surprised.
So, in case you’ve been under a rock, the most important thing in the world, EVER, began yesterday. Yes, that’s right:
Really, whenever I so much as consider the fact that the U2 360° Tour is an actual thing that’s happening (as opposed to a fever dream of delirious fabulousness from which I’ll inevitably wake up, which turned out to be the case that one time I thought I saw the Popmart Tour, or that one time I saw them at a private gig at a Barnes & Noble), the squealing recommences. I haven’t blogged as much about it as I said I would, mostly on account of the fact that my coworkers/roommates/the Tri-State area have been complaining about the noise and accompanying bleeding ears, so I’ve tried to keep the U2-thusiasm to a minimum. Well, seeing as how yesterday’s show in Barcelona officially kicked the tour off, I refuse to be respectful any longer, y’all.
And while there’re already a-bajillion-and-three things I could say about the tour just from the first show, I’ll cool off for the moment and just focus on answering what we can all agree is the MOST important question: Where’s my Eno?
I totally recognize that Coldplay is pretty much the “rock” band for soccer moms, and I also recognize that admitting to liking Coldplay (unless you’re a soccer mom) is terminally lame. Hell, it’s so lame that if you admit to liking Coldplay while in Williamsburg, a swarm of hipsters surrounds you and silently judges you as if you were responsible for bringing the swine flu to an elementary school.
Whatevs, though. I think they’re great.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all of their albums since I first bought Parachutes, and Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends was without a doubt one of my favorite albums of last year. I’ve seen them live twice, and they have a sincere desire to make sure you’re having as much fun as they are when they’re performing. There’s no posturing to be cool or edgy; it’s just unabashed love, and I for one appreciate that.
Also, there’s this:
“What the hell is LeftRightLeftRightLeft?” you ask? Well, according to Coldplay.com, it’s the new live album they’re giving away to all concert goers on this (presumably) last leg of their tour. Oh, and also anyone that can’t make it to a show who instead downloads it from their website. Says their site:
Good morning. We’re pleased to announce that Coldplay will be giving away a live CD, LeftRightLeftRightLeft, at every remaining live show in 2009 (apart from festival shows). Starting with the band’s first North American tour date, at West Palm Beach in Florida on May 15th, every fan attending a show will be given a free copy of the nine-track CD, which won’t be available elsewhere. Also on May 15th, LeftRightLeftRightLeft will be made available as a free download right here at Coldplay.com, for all fans (and for the same time period).
According to the band, the give-away is meant as a recession-busting mark of gratitude to everyone who’s supported them: “Playing live is what we love. This album is a thank you to our fans – the people who give us a reason to do it and make it happen.”
Hell yes, Coldplay. Yet another reason for me to love you long time.
