So I’ve been asked to spend a few words on this:
I might as well have been asked to give an introductory lecture on the films of John Wayne or an instructional course on finding the G-Spot. There really are too many reasons to count as to why I should take a pass on this one, but popular demand (aka, a single request posted on my Facebook wall) is popular demand, so I decided the best way to talk about Remember Me is to actually talk about why I shouldn’t talk about Remember Me. Now let’s get meta and do this thing.
Reason One: Inevitable Teen Girl Squad Backlash
If the first year of Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner has taught me anything, it’s that you do NOT challenge the tastes of teenage girls with internet connections. They will metaphorically shank you with their hastily composed comments, and each misspelled word and basic grammatical error will sting worse than a thousand paper cuts from thoroughly dog-eared copy of Breaking Dawn. Believe me. I know.
Anyways, for that reason alone I know that I shouldn’t contribute my two cents on Remember Me, or any Robert Pattinson movie for that matter. No matter the movie, it will only end in bad things (burning my effigy in a chaotic orgy of hormone-addled bloodlust?). Particularly if I were to started flapping my trap about that one where he played a gay Salvadore Dali (burning me at the stake in a chaotic orgy of hormone-addled bloodlust). Like I said, I know I shouldn’t, but that’s obviously not stopping me.