Wild Horses Cannot Drag Me Away From Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen June 24, 2009

Robo-testicles?
Check.
Wonky-eyed, racist caricature-bots?
Check and double-check.
Megan Fox giving lessons on how to dress appropriately for work?

Then there are the reviews, which confirm what I’ve long suspected.  Ladies and gentleman, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which is at long last in theaters, seems like it’s going to be one seriously ferocious train wreck, no CGI necessary.
I may no longer be a [...]

The “Plot” for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is Even More Ludicrous Than Expected May 1, 2009

The final trailer for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has arrived, and it makes me yearn for the days when it looked like this movie was just going to be two hours of Michael Bay’s patented brand of “high art” (robot carnage and lots of explosions).  Just look at this mess:

So let’s [...]

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Only Grows More Absurd With Every Passing Day April 2, 2009

I’ll never in a million, bajillion years make an argument claiming that what Michael Bay does behind a movie camera can be called art; I’ll leave that to Criterion.  I will, however, always been willing to make the argument for Michael Bay as the Grand Poobah of Blowing Shit Up.  Plot frequently takes the back [...]