True story, y’all: in my youth, I spent about as much time in my parents’ bedroom watching the classic Star Wars trilogy as I did prancing about pretending I was the star ballet dancer (affectionately nicknamed “Spotlight Spotlight Dancer”) in a production of Tchaichovsky’s The Nutcracker. Both activities were encouraged by my parents, which–looking back–explains so very, very much about the man I am today. That, and the one time I washed my neighborfriend’s Barbie’s hair in the bathroom sink.
ANYWAYS, as a result of of my upbringing, there aren’t many things in life that I miss quite like Carrie’s puns (it’s a homo thing), but those halycon hours I as a wee gay in spent in a galaxy far, far away most certainly are one of them (it’s a nerd thing), so it’s without reservation that I bid you all good tidings on today’s most joyous of fake holidays:
It goes without saying that this pun is like Darth Vader force choking your ear drums, so yeouch! But it’s also a nice little way to take a moment out of your day and appreciate how Star Wars might have made your life a little better. Or, if you’re feeling like a regular ol’ Scrooge, so much worse. For your eyes. And your soul. You know exactly what I’m talking about: