Sure, this first installment of The Wil Show’s Big Brother trilogy might be a little more value added if you’ve been obsessively following this latest season. Joe really does inexplicably yell in the diary room and have terrible, terrible facial hair and make up completely absurd lies. For realsies, he once claimed to have named I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Also: UGH, Danielle. Just UGH! That all said, even if you haven’t been keeping up with this season, we can all appreciate Wil Heuser’s impressive contributions to nightmare drag:
The problem with taking a break from moonlighting as a highly adored, internationally famous blogger is that you constantly have a gaggle of screaming fans begging you to go back to blogging. “Oh, how we miss you! Oh, how we need you!” their gaping maws craw like sickly orphans starved of camp, wit, and the “occasional” Showgirls reference.
Naturally, I’m may be exaggerating a tad seeing as:
Anyways, it’s become rather clear that my public (two friends and a mother…on occasion) needs me, and who am I to refuse? So, like the above photo of Joan Crawford returning to MGM Studios to film Torch Song, I too shall come back to the old fold. (This is nothing like that whatsoever, but let’s pretend.) Or, to mix iconic-camp-moment metaphors:
I haven’t the slightest context for any of this, but who cares? And more importantly: why in the world am I not watching Game of Thrones? Not only is Game of Thrones hard fantasy storytelling with crossover appeal, but it’s got Peter Dinklage bitch slapping the sass from some twink named Joffrey’s mouth. That doesn’t just say I should be watching; it screams it like a slut during last call at the d*ck buffet. Set my interest to STUNNED!
Much love to Buzzfeed for this one.
I’ve got my body, got my lips, got my pocket full of Hawthornes! P-p-p-pocketful of Hawthrones! ))<>(( Forever 10 minutes. P-p-p-perfection.
At this point, it’s almost not even worth mentioning that Madonna’s MDNA came out earlier this week. After all, if you’re reading this, chances are either you or at least one of your friends is a friend of Dorothy, which means either you or at least one of your friends has spent the past few days sashaying up and down your Facebook News Feed with quips and comments about the new Madonna album. Simply put: WE KNOW ALREADY, QUEEN. Hell, I’d offer my own two cents, but Madonna has so much money she probably scoffs at small change like a bouquet of hydrangeas. Besides, the last album I shared my thoughts on was Christina Aguilera’s Bionic, and we all know how well that turned out.
ANYWAYS, this wouldn’t the blog it is without some sort of MDNA-related post (duh), so here’s a music video for Madonna’s latest single, “Girl Gone Wild.” It may not be the official video, but it probably should be:
What do you get when Israel’s most fabulous electropop duo covers hipsterdom’s hardest working 1950′s-pinup-poster/hip-hop-video-girl drag act? Electropop magic, that’s what. So much magic that you might as well call this “Video Games” the next installment of Final Fantasy. (LoloUGH, sorry for that.)
I’m sorry, maybe it’s the beast of a week I’ve had, or maybe just me being that queen (very likely), but this video is an utter and absolute delight! I mean, Irene Cara’s “Flashdance…What a Feeling”! Who doesn’t love that song? (Nobody.) And Joan Crawford dancing! Who doesn’t delight in Joan Crawford dancing? (Bette Davis, Christina Crawford, fools who refuse the imperative to dance.) My point is that this video’s as marvelous a salve to the week as it is a start to the weekend. And best of all:
