If anyone can explain to me how in the world Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale movie could conceivably not be the best Christmas movie of all time, I’d love to sit through their Powerpoint presentation plumbing the depths of that argument, because I’m just not buying it. I mean, we all know I love me some batshit crazy, and this movie looks like it’s bringing the crazy like an extra-large stocking overstuffed with spades. How can we possibly lose? Oh, that’s right: WE CAN’T. And don’t take my obviously biased and ofttimes hyperbolic word for it. Do yourself a favor and bathe your eyeballs in the glorious insanity of the Rare Exports trailer:
The less said about this trailer for From Beginning to End (Do Começo ao Fim) the better, other than it’s certifiably the most ridiculous thing I’ve encountered in quite some. Just watch it and remember that this is an actual movie and an actual story that people felt committed to tell because they see it as having serious, artistic merit. Also, before you click play and watch this, prepare to have your brain melt and then spew out through your ears. Seriously, you’ve been warned:
Ermmm….neat? And also, HUH???
Perhaps this is simply an example of a movie that touches on a taboo that I can’t even wrap around my head, but I’m willing to bet that the large majority of the world would equally agree with my sentiments that this is kinda creepy. I could even see this movie as trying to be more a metaphor for the broader socially forbidden love of homosexuality, but that doesn’t really work because we don’t need an extra layer of uncomfortable icing on our sexual taboo cake. Homosexuality still holds enough of a taboo in mainstream film to where it’s pretty a shortcake: you just add some strawberries (like being a cowboy in Brokeback Mountain) and then serve. From Beginning to End is too much of everything, though, and so it looks like it’s a multi-tiered cake of various taboos that’ll inevitably collapse in on itself.
That said, I totally appreciate any movie that’s seeking to confront what we perceive as right and wrong in order to make us evaluate our moral codes and social fabrics. I could and should be capable of treating this movie as a serious endeavor that demands an intelligent, open-minded discussion about cultural sexual mores, but instead I just keep replaying this trailer in awe of how–in spite of its polished direction and competent performances and attractive male leads and Philip Glassian score (and I do so love my Philip Glassian scores, y’all)–this movie looks so epically trashy!
A bit over a year ago I finally started making use of my Netflix account after I realized I had the same copy of In the Mood for Love for an embarrassingly long amount of time. I sent it off, updated my account, and got to work on crafting a queue that’d constantly keep me excited about what was coming next in the mail. No such freakin’ luck.
The first problem with Netflix, it should be noted, is that there’s just too much selection for a person like me. I struggle making decisions at a Starbucks, let alone a Blockbuster, so Netflix is a bonafide nightmare. My logical response? Put everything in the queue.
Movies I saw once at Virgin Megastore that piqued my interest for two seconds? In the queue. That one movie with that one actress from several years ago that got reasonably decent reviews? In the queue. Netflix’s suggestion on something I might like when I put another suggestion of theirs in my queue after I selected a movie with Julianne Moore? You guessed it: in the queue.
Needless to say, I had a full queue–yes, 500 selections–within three days. Because I’m ridiculous. And, quite naturally, within a few months time I’d gone from voracious DVD consumption to my standard “Whoops, I still have that, don’t I?” mode.
No, not the pastry, though that’d be perfectly acceptable as well. They’re doing a retrospective on Danish filmmaker Carl Theodor Dreyer, so they’re feeding our minds instead of our tummies. Pastries would certainly make this retrospective complete, but still, let’s get excited! There’s live piano accompaniment for the silent films (!), a movie about homo things (!!!), and Vampyr(squeee!!!).
Vampyr can’t really be described as a movie in the traditional sense; it’s more like a 75-minute version of the video from The Ring. Or a really bad, Gothic-themed shroom trip in black and white. Trust me, those are compliments. Here’s a clip to illustrate what I’m talking about:
Amazing. I recognize this’ll probably come off as the most ludicrous statement of the day as it lands somewhere between being totally nerdy and totally pretentious, and YouTube is a poor substitute for seeing a movie on the big screen (or even on DVD), but how Dreyer moves his camera through space is really something else. And that something else is totally brilliant.
There’s absolutely no excuse to not get yourself to BAM at some point for at least one of the screenings, unless you’re not in NYC. Or you have a deathly allergy to good things. Then it’s acceptable. Otherwise, go to a bakery, buy some danishes, and get your butt over to BAM. You can make it a Danish-and-Danish-Film Extravaganza.
