If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this GIF is worth a thousand, flawless white diamonds. Or, better still, a thousand bottles of the flawlessly scented White Diamonds! ELIZABLOHAN, HOW MANY GIFS DID YOU TAKE?!? (*SPOILER ALERT!*: Just this one.) This GIF is my absolute everything, y’all. LIZ & DICK ”I’m so bored!” GIF back and forth 4EVA!!!
Much love to The TV Screen by way of Videogum for this one.
Back when I was in school, I decided one summer’s day that canvas messenger bags were so out and that fun, fetching, personalized canvas totes were totally in, but where would I ever find inspiration for a bag that would say everything about me? And then it hit me! The most obvious choice! Rachel Dratch as Elizabeth Taylor on 30 Rock:
So I went and got myself the finest of materials (a lime green canvas tote from the Strand book store, leftover pink iron-on letters from a previous attempt at making t-shirts, super glue, and the cheapest rhinestones money can buy) and set out to work. When I was finally finished, I christened my work of arts and crafts White Diamonds. Because that’s what she read.
In my mind, she didn’t just say, “Here is a queen whose beard is fooling nobody and loves Elizabeth Taylor.” No no, she declared, “Here is is a queen whose beard refuses to fool anybody, loves Elizabeth Taylor, and also adores obscure 30 Rock references!” Alas, the best I ever got was a single guy on the subway some years later who asked, “I’m sorry, is it just me, but is that a reference to Elizabeth Taylor?” A minor success, for sure, but then I had to explain the process of inspiration. That’ll kill a conversation quicker than Mama Cass reaching for a ham sandwich.
Much like our dearly missed Dame Taylor, though, the years of toil have taken their toll (though you’d be impressed what a canvas tote can withstand!), and White Diamonds is no longer with us, but she also shan’t be forgotten. By me. ‘Cos I’ll put her in a frame and claim it’s Dada.
ANYWAYS, it’s with great pleasure that I can now share this lightbulb moment I’d been all but convinced the world (aka, YouTube) had neglected or forgotten. Ladies and gentlemen, lezzies and ladybois, Rachel Dratch as Elizabeth Taylor in 30 Rock:
As we’ve all without doubt most sadly heard by now, Dame Elizabeth Taylor has passed away at the age of 79 after being hospitalized six weeks ago for congenital heart failure. With a career and life as wildly storied as hers (the accolades and awards! The marriages and divorces and remarriages! Her tireless contributions to the fight against HIV and AIDS! Being Elizabeth frickin’ Taylor!), it would be wrong to not offer one of Hollywood’s greatest and most glamourous screen icons of all time a moment of elegant and somber reflection, which is precisely why you should read this New York Times‘s obituary. It really is quite the lovely tribute.
This being the particular corner of the internet that it is, however, it would also be remiss to not pay respect with a wink and a mince and the utmost devotion to the divine Dame Taylor. After all, we’ve gotta smile through the tears (and believe me, there were tears this morning. At work. And now. So awkward!), which is precisely (and perhaps a little surprisingly?) why I’m not going to make too much about this:
Maybe it’s the way this still from Ash Wednesday makes me curse the fact that it is still not out on DVD for me to witness this:
_01.jpg "Annex - Taylor, Elizabeth (Ash Wednesday)_01")
BUT IN MOTION.
Or maybe it’s the exquisite tingle her delivery of Catherine’s climactic monologue in [obligatory spoiler warning] Suddenly, Last Summer:
