When you think about how often I freak my freak out over Showgirls, you might’ve figured I’d have been flailing my fey little blog hands (like spirit fingers across the keyboard, if you will) on the daily when it came to the Cher and Xtina cinematic extravaganza, Burlesque. After all, any movie musical set in the world of burlesque theater starring Cher and Christina Aguilera could very well be the next Showgirls, and at the very least it’s sure to wrestle away the crown–or would it be wig?–for Gayest Movie Ever (sorry, Gang Bang Bottoms 17). If nothing else, it’s a testament to my unabashed faggotry that so many people shared the trailer with me as if I wasn’t all over it (thanks, you guys!!!). Believe me, ladyfriends, I was. It’s just that I ended up doing a bunch of this whenever I watched the trailer. But with a whole lot more rainbow confetti. You know, the usual homo things stuff.
ANYWAYS, Burlesque is out today, so obviously I’m excited (so excited!). More importantly, though, that means the reviews for Burlesque are out (so excited!), which means the critics consensus over at Rotten Tomatoes has spoken: Burlesque sits at rather bleak 32% over at Rotten Tomatoes (so scared!). Could my greatest fear–that Burlesque could be a Sex and the City 2 instead of a Showgirls–be true?!? Mais non, mes soeurs. I’ve gathered a few delectable quotes (with a dash of commentary) to give us hope that Burlesque could in fact be the Great Camp Hope for which we’ve all been waiting: