In Honor of Courtney Stodden’s Birthday: Courtney Stodden Tweets Read by a Drag Queen! August 29, 2012

Seeing as it’s Courtney Stodden’s “18th” birthday today, you’d probably think the day simply can’t get any better. She’s no longer a child bride AND she’ll continue to serve 16-going-on-37 glamazon realness. See? Dreams really do come true, y’all! (Your dreams are made of the hungry scent of internet celebrity and a bathtub of fake tanner, I guess.)

Anyways, in honor of this special occasion, here are two videos of a beatnik drag queen by the name of Janvier doing interpretive readings of Ms. Stodden’s sensual tweets, which really highlight her sensual grasp of the English language:

Come for the Worcestershire, Stay for the Cake: It’s Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Third Birthday! February 3, 2012

It’s been three whole years since I first broke blog ground (with a post about Worcestershire sauce, no less), so it seems only necessary to mark this most special occasion with a video about both the history and making of Worcestershire sauce. It’s as fascinating as much as it now makes perfect sense why I love the stuff. Old things and onions and garlic and tamarind and a secret blend of spices? How very all-my-favorite-flavors-I-love-meets-the-Colonel’s-Kentucky-Fried-Chicken. PUT IT IN MY MOUTH, PLEASE!

And look, if Worcestershire sauce isn’t your thing (though why wouldn’t it be?), there’s also cake! A very special GIF cake I made to mark the day, no less:

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth Berkley! July 28, 2011

I made you a birthday cake! Again! Hope it doesn’t suck!

Happy Birthday to Our First Lady of New York and Camp Icon for the Foodie Crowd, Sandra Lee! July 3, 2011

You know, when the news broke two Fridays ago that New York voted to legalize same-sex marriage, my initial reaction was jubilation, my second was that we’d finally done it, third that Governor Andrew Cuomo is a hero, and my fourth was to f*ck all that noise ‘cos I’m putting this one entirely on First Ladyfriend of New York, Sandra Lee!

Really, I’m sure there’s an argument to be made about changing cultural climates and increased societal acceptance and blah blah blah, but I’d much prefer to believe that us gays would’ve never gotten to where we are today without tablescapes and Cocktail Times. So here’s to Sandra Lee! Keep on winning over our hearts with your crazy, giving such exquisite face, and being the kind of fabulous First Lady this fine state of New York deserves! And because such a day deserves a celebratory drink, let’s all join Sandra for a Lush Lagoon:

A Very Happy 65th Birthday with a “B” to Our Beloved Liza with a “Z”! March 12, 2011

It’s safe to say that over at this corner of the internet, my love for Liza Minnelli’s been rather well documented. For examples: Here and here. And also here. OH, and definitely here.

Anywho, given how Liza love abounds around here, you’d think I’d probably just throw up a picture of Liza in all her sequined glory, post a clip of her killing it on stage at the Palace (or anywhere else, when you think about it, because that’s what Liza Minelli does, y’all: She KILLS IT), she-screech a little about how much I think she’s one of our greatest living legends and national treasures, and then just call it a day. I mean, I could, and after all, it sorta wouldn’t be the first time. MAIS NON!

Liza turns 65 this year, and that’s a damn special year as far as I’m concerned! I’ll be happy if I can get about at all without the assistance of a Rascal Scooter when I’m 65, so strutting about the way Liza still does would be asking for a lot. As such, this year we’re doing things a bit different, y’all.

Above? We have a fabulous caricature by one of my favorite artists, Al Hirschfeld, from the galleries over at Flixster. And below? A stunning discovery I just made in the name of Liza Minnelli birthday post research. So ladies and gentlemen, it’s with greatest pleasure to present the hot piece of early-90s razzle-dazzle that is Liza Minnelli performing “Losing My Mind” on The Arsenio Hall Show:

Since It’s Madonna’s Birthday, Here’s an Ice Cream GIF Cake and a Fabubonkers Performance August 16, 2010

Would it be too much of a gay cliché to take a momentary respite from our previously scheduled blog catch up and wish Madonna, Queen of Pop and Grand Madame of Contemporary Gay Icons, a happy birthday?  HA, of course it would, which is precisely why it must be done!  Besides, we can all agree nothing effectively pays tribute to the woman who has helped shape the pop music landscape for nearly 30 years quite like a homemade ice cream GIF cake, and homemade ice cream GIF cakes just so happen to be one of my specialties:

Delicious.

And just in case you’re you don’t know from where the above Madonna image came, allow me to introduce you to Madonna’s Confessions Tour opener, “Future Lovers/I Feel Love,” which is certifiably fabubonkers:

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth Berkley! July 28, 2010

I hope it doesn’t suck!  Oh, who am I kidding?  It’ll be better than a 10-inch dick, and you know it!

Good Evening, America. It Has Recently Come to My Attention That I Love Chloë Sevigny June 22, 2010

Well, imitation Chloë Sevigny by writer/performer Drew Droege and director Jim Hansen:

I mean, can you blame me?  Not all of us can are lucky enough to get gifted a high-heeled purse by Little Tic Tac.  Even on our birthdee.  I clearly run in the wrong social circles (the ones that don’t include Tweet).  But no matter.  Let’s talk of carefree things, like our summer plans:

Now That It’s Her Birthday, Here’s Judy Garland Singing “I Can’t Give You Anything But Love” June 10, 2010

From her 1963 television show, The Judy Garland Show, here’s Judy Garland singing “I Can’t Give You Anything But Love”:

I’d go on some pithy tangent about the strange, sublime joys of being a Judy Garland loving queen, but what’s the point in that?  This is the woman–nay, Diva–who, according to the Gay & Lesbian Times, was once quoted as saying, “When I die I have visions of fags singing ‘Over the Rainbow’ and the flag at Fire Island being flown at half mast.”  You can’t provide a fabulously succinct bit of commentary on what she means to some of us (myself included), nor can you give that quote anything but love.

Happy birthday, Judy.  We love you.

In Honor of Bette Davis’s Birthday, Small Pleasures of Now, Voyager April 5, 2010

Beyond the singular pleasure that comes from watching a pitch perfect, classic Hollywood melodrama or the preternatural pleasure that is all but inevitable when witnessing Bette Davis’s deeply moving turn as Charlotte Vale, there are plenty of smaller pleasures to be gleaned from Now, Voyager.  Pleasures like Bette Davis wearing the most fabulous movie hat to end all movie hats:

Seriously, Bette Davis’s hat gives all other movie hats hat envy. Particularly Kate Winslet’s hat from the beginning of Titanic.  It’s a movies-with-narratives-that-prominently-feature-cruise-ships thing.

And here’s Bette Davis knitting while wearing the sort of sunglasses that make me long for a time when sunglass–and the rest of the world–stood for things that really mattered.  Namely glamour:

Some people might say that it’s those sunglasses cover up those Bette Davis eyes. Everyone will say I should get off the stage for writing such an embarrassing pun.

Oh!  And I’d be remiss to not mention the greatest Now, Voyager gift of all: